Army is draining my spirit away... I have to admit. I finally understand why some people backslided from church because of what army brings. The physical, mental stress that keeps us on the move is just too much for some to handle. I have my fair share of feelings of giving up, to just become one of the people who hates army life, hates serving the country as we are forced to do so for two years. After all, I'm human right? I do have pains, I do complain, and I want to make army a better place for some of my men. But not by testing the system. Although many have done so, you have to be WISE to do so. Basically, every system is flawed, is how you get around to it and be flexible to act according to the situation.
Anyhow, this is not the main thing that I want to say. The thing is, I really really, miss the times I had together in terms of secondary school, poly life no matter how crazy it was for me, and the times my cell group used to do. The times when I served as guitarist to my cell, to usher in the presense of God, to have the Holy Spirit in my life. I remember the times I used to complain about minor things as a civilian, and looking back, I thought how petty I was... Reading on other people's blogs about procrastination and what not really made me think that, its really about personnal discipline and how you work it out. I guess army has its good points. It brings you to another world, so you can also observe the civilian world.
When you can overcome the things army has given you, I believe that even any problem in the civilian world, you can believe that you will solve it. After all, its civilian life. But spiritually, dryness will enter in the army. Because of the schedule, the programme that keeps me tired and unable to even look at God or even spend time with Him. Army poses a threat to keeping Holiness in my character and even to become the light that will influence others. I am training to be a section commander.
I went for the Song of Solomon bible study last night, and the phrase that impacted me the most is this:
" problems are caused by bad leaders with bad leadership, but the solution to this is Good Leadership with good leaders." or something like that.
Meaning, leadership you are called, and as christians we cannot be the PROBLEM because we are leading, but we must lead because Good leadership leads to solving problems. And I had a burden as to why am I giving a try in leader school, whether you are in SISPEC or OCS, it doesn't really matter. What matters is, you are chosen to lead men, so why not make the best out of it, go through it but with discretion on your body limits.
I really do not want to think about OOC, but I just cannot stop thinking of whether if I did, I can go to other vocations. "We have toiled all day and caught nothing, nevertheless, at your word, I will let down the nets" I was suddenly reminded as I type out this post. I believe God is telling me to not give up, because when Peter caught the harvest, he got a fish load and in the end his boat is overflowing.
I thank you, Father. For being there for me, even though I neglected you many times in army, I have always wondered where you were, but actually you were right beside me, giving me the utmost care and concern through the leaders over me. You encourage me through men that I've hated, you've brought me out of darkness through means that I didn't know you could. You pushed my body by your supernatural strength, when I thought I wanted to fail you were behind me, letting my body move when my mind wanted to give up, to give me people to aid me in my long march. You are like the river and I was the pebble that got stuck in the stream, but your currents are strong, even though I am heavy with worries and thoughts to give up, and they carry it through the waters of the river of life. Thank you God, for being the savior you was, and will always be. Thank you, Jesus, for interceding for me, to pray for my undying ability to carry on despite how drained I am. I thank you that all these is definately by your strength. Amen.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete - Jump Fiesta 2009 Trailer
This is the Trailer hope you enjoy it!
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete - Jump Fiesta 2009 Trailer
This is the Trailer hope you enjoy it!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Popcorn Smasher - Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children (COMPLETE)
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the animation of the highest standards of all. Coming all the way from Japan and produced by the very famous RPG game company in my opinion, SQUARE ENIX, I present to you the review of their finally completed version of Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, the first movie ever made by the Japan team.
Previously, their story was not really completed for some reason, they have to meet the requirement of the movie theater of their region I suppose. But now they have produced with additional scenes in it. Scenes that were not produced before. There were even changes in the script to make it even clearer.
The most important was the fight scenes. Most of it change, finally adding wounds on the people that were attacked. Dirt marks on faces and clothings after bring skidded on the floor. Scratches on the bike. Cloud was given a new fight scene altogether with his nemesis. For the benefit of all those who haven't watch this show at all, I won't reveal too much.
Definately an increased improvement in graphics, story, action and the flow, is all established. The rating I give for an animation show is usually outrageous. So here goes my verdict. For animation shows I am going to put in more stats for my benefit of analyzing.
General Public: 3/5 stars
Fans of the Game: 4/5 stars
Personal?
Graphics: 4/5
Storyboard and Flow: 4/5
Sequence of Action: 4/5 Pretty good Motion capture if you ask me.
Overall, I would say its 4.5/5 stars. Thats for me.
I'm gonna post a trailer to interest some of you.
Previously, their story was not really completed for some reason, they have to meet the requirement of the movie theater of their region I suppose. But now they have produced with additional scenes in it. Scenes that were not produced before. There were even changes in the script to make it even clearer.
The most important was the fight scenes. Most of it change, finally adding wounds on the people that were attacked. Dirt marks on faces and clothings after bring skidded on the floor. Scratches on the bike. Cloud was given a new fight scene altogether with his nemesis. For the benefit of all those who haven't watch this show at all, I won't reveal too much.
Definately an increased improvement in graphics, story, action and the flow, is all established. The rating I give for an animation show is usually outrageous. So here goes my verdict. For animation shows I am going to put in more stats for my benefit of analyzing.
General Public: 3/5 stars
Fans of the Game: 4/5 stars
Personal?
Graphics: 4/5
Storyboard and Flow: 4/5
Sequence of Action: 4/5 Pretty good Motion capture if you ask me.
Overall, I would say its 4.5/5 stars. Thats for me.
I'm gonna post a trailer to interest some of you.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Army Journey SISPEC: Posted to ASLC... Sad, but I'm Ok...
ASLC, the dreaded word was read out during the posting my Staff read out to us. It was one of the worst news I've received. Although I know that many of my friends have went through it, but most of my friends are physically 'up' there. So why am I even in ASLC? I only got a pass for IPPT. Now I must get a SILVER??? Also, my SOC is not up to standard, its the 4 arm power stations. Technique yes, but you still need the arm power to overcome it.
Sometimes I just don't understand how the posting works. One thing is for sure, I need to buck up, really buck up on my physical. There's not much playing, more stress, and more adversity qoutient to cope once again. Mentally, I'm going to be drained. Good thing I'm still in Juliet. I will never have ask for a better time to be in ASLC. Yet, I still feel saddened.
I actually broke down and cried when I heard the news. I wanted to have a less stressful army life, now, I have to really give all I've got for this course. During that time, I really hated the army, hated everything and everyone around me. No one can console me. Although, Eugene was there to console me and why am I so expressive??? Why? Did God have something against me? I will be lying if i did not actually say this. I even prayed that I won't get into this course, so why? Why God? You said you will grant the desires of our heart. So why then?
I got angry, confused, furthermore the news was given after our 28 click and we haven't really slept. I went to the cookhouse and eat somewhat alone, emo-ing about the whole thing. I can't say I was the only one, but the whole company was all in emo mode. Its just too much to even let go. The funny question was, why ONLY our SECTION 2 has full strength that went to ASLC? Except for my bed buddy who went to Combat Medic...
And all the sections they got 2 MPs and others that went to armour. What the heck is my whole section going to ASLC? What's worse, they separated our section to go to platoon 2. What in blazes? That made it a whole lot worse.
Nevertheless, I managed to get it together, to get over it. If i do not look forward to ASLC and its training, I will never set my heart to do well or even, survive the course. I WILL survive. I WILL give my 100%. I WILL BECOME A SERGEANT NO MATTER WHAT!
Sometimes I just don't understand how the posting works. One thing is for sure, I need to buck up, really buck up on my physical. There's not much playing, more stress, and more adversity qoutient to cope once again. Mentally, I'm going to be drained. Good thing I'm still in Juliet. I will never have ask for a better time to be in ASLC. Yet, I still feel saddened.
I actually broke down and cried when I heard the news. I wanted to have a less stressful army life, now, I have to really give all I've got for this course. During that time, I really hated the army, hated everything and everyone around me. No one can console me. Although, Eugene was there to console me and why am I so expressive??? Why? Did God have something against me? I will be lying if i did not actually say this. I even prayed that I won't get into this course, so why? Why God? You said you will grant the desires of our heart. So why then?
I got angry, confused, furthermore the news was given after our 28 click and we haven't really slept. I went to the cookhouse and eat somewhat alone, emo-ing about the whole thing. I can't say I was the only one, but the whole company was all in emo mode. Its just too much to even let go. The funny question was, why ONLY our SECTION 2 has full strength that went to ASLC? Except for my bed buddy who went to Combat Medic...
And all the sections they got 2 MPs and others that went to armour. What the heck is my whole section going to ASLC? What's worse, they separated our section to go to platoon 2. What in blazes? That made it a whole lot worse.
Nevertheless, I managed to get it together, to get over it. If i do not look forward to ASLC and its training, I will never set my heart to do well or even, survive the course. I WILL survive. I WILL give my 100%. I WILL BECOME A SERGEANT NO MATTER WHAT!
Army Journey: SISPEC BSLC completed!
This whole experience in BSLC? I know I cannot reveal too much about the course but it has been memorable...
This BSLC probably was the most irritating and most enjoyable moments looking back. Although my bed buddy is screwed up, and even some of my section people are screwed up, I also met friends over there, who has helped me through, although I maybe irritating to them by telling them to fall in on time, all the time. I hoped to see some people performing like leaders in my next course... which I would talk about my response later...
I guess for this BSLC, the closest people are actually my section people, not the platoon. Although in the platoon I know a few people, but we are just not as connected as the people in your section. Not like BMT where you need to know everyone in the section. Many stupid jokes were made in my section. Jokes of the day were often created in my whole course and we would just laugh. Sometimes the remarks made by Hsien Yew are funny enough to get everyone cracking.
Then the field camps came in. The Grand Slam? Was really Grand 'Shek', singapore term for tired. Probably for me, I did SBD for the two days I was part of the section. It was killing me, I even had to retake my Navigation test that night and the next day another round of SBD. I nearly thought I could not make it, physically. Yet my mental was always there for me. Somehow, I keep thinking I can't go on, but somehow, my body will keep moving, even if its tired it will move.
That proved true for my 28 click route march, or was it 32 click? Why I questioned this was because, we may have marched the wrong way and in the end took a long route back. But nevertheless, we made it. I was one of the stragglers, the ones who could not take it anymore, but I keep on going. I was on the verge of giving up, but one warrent officer motivated me, and even gave me the salt water to drink so that I can cure my cramps in my legs. It was a tough challenge for me, I even cried as I march. I was touched by my officers care and I know I am not the tough man people always think. I do cry, I am not like the chinese saying of 'Men do not cry'.
I feel what I feel and I have to let something out. That's why, I need an outlet for all my anger, for all my pain. I shout, I need to confess, if not I cannot function. That's what I discovered for myself.
Then throughout the whole march, I was in pain. But I could not say so for myself, I know the others are feeling the way I'm feeling, I just could not take it. My mind was telling me to slow down, to give up. If it weren't for the motivation of my company mates, some were from platoon 2 and 3 who helped me, I won't be able to make it...
Overall the experience in BSLC, was some good training. To the guys who are transfered to another unit, please, become the 3SG and lead your men. Don't give up, we're nearly through.
This BSLC probably was the most irritating and most enjoyable moments looking back. Although my bed buddy is screwed up, and even some of my section people are screwed up, I also met friends over there, who has helped me through, although I maybe irritating to them by telling them to fall in on time, all the time. I hoped to see some people performing like leaders in my next course... which I would talk about my response later...
I guess for this BSLC, the closest people are actually my section people, not the platoon. Although in the platoon I know a few people, but we are just not as connected as the people in your section. Not like BMT where you need to know everyone in the section. Many stupid jokes were made in my section. Jokes of the day were often created in my whole course and we would just laugh. Sometimes the remarks made by Hsien Yew are funny enough to get everyone cracking.
Then the field camps came in. The Grand Slam? Was really Grand 'Shek', singapore term for tired. Probably for me, I did SBD for the two days I was part of the section. It was killing me, I even had to retake my Navigation test that night and the next day another round of SBD. I nearly thought I could not make it, physically. Yet my mental was always there for me. Somehow, I keep thinking I can't go on, but somehow, my body will keep moving, even if its tired it will move.
That proved true for my 28 click route march, or was it 32 click? Why I questioned this was because, we may have marched the wrong way and in the end took a long route back. But nevertheless, we made it. I was one of the stragglers, the ones who could not take it anymore, but I keep on going. I was on the verge of giving up, but one warrent officer motivated me, and even gave me the salt water to drink so that I can cure my cramps in my legs. It was a tough challenge for me, I even cried as I march. I was touched by my officers care and I know I am not the tough man people always think. I do cry, I am not like the chinese saying of 'Men do not cry'.
I feel what I feel and I have to let something out. That's why, I need an outlet for all my anger, for all my pain. I shout, I need to confess, if not I cannot function. That's what I discovered for myself.
Then throughout the whole march, I was in pain. But I could not say so for myself, I know the others are feeling the way I'm feeling, I just could not take it. My mind was telling me to slow down, to give up. If it weren't for the motivation of my company mates, some were from platoon 2 and 3 who helped me, I won't be able to make it...
Overall the experience in BSLC, was some good training. To the guys who are transfered to another unit, please, become the 3SG and lead your men. Don't give up, we're nearly through.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Army Journey SISPEC: Disdain
I can't say how much it has been a bore in army life. Its the same routine, the friends at my section still suck. Nothing really matters anymore. With people like Sen Yew and Roy in my section, I can only say my perception of selfishness in man, has just gone up another level. No, its not a good thing. I just can't believe that someone could be that selfish! Thinking for themselves, PRETENDING to help others in their section mate. You blanjah me Maggi Mee doesn't mean you've earn my trust as a friend or even respect out of you.
I have come across the laziest people of all, also from my section for some. Procrastination. Why the hell did LEADERSHIP TRAINING become so MEDIOCRE???
There's no sense in giving us leadership roles when we are fresh out from a recruit's life. So you want us to make our own decisions, ok, I understand that. But seriously, how is this system suppose to work out? The appointment holders have all tried their best, except for some which I see they are just not cut out to be a appointment holder. The real problem is the platoon. The people within the company, all of us, are NOT united in one mind, one goal, one achievement. Yes, we only have one thing in mind, Pass out from BSLC. But that is not enough to drive you. Life really sucks as a trainee in SISPEC and I thought BMT was worst? Come on. Standards have got to buck up in SISPEC.
No matter how I detest this place, I really love the freedom they gave, just don't overstep your limits. I wanted slack training too, but when it is time to get it down, to be serious, then show professionalism people! Sense of urgency PLEASE!!!
I have come across the laziest people of all, also from my section for some. Procrastination. Why the hell did LEADERSHIP TRAINING become so MEDIOCRE???
There's no sense in giving us leadership roles when we are fresh out from a recruit's life. So you want us to make our own decisions, ok, I understand that. But seriously, how is this system suppose to work out? The appointment holders have all tried their best, except for some which I see they are just not cut out to be a appointment holder. The real problem is the platoon. The people within the company, all of us, are NOT united in one mind, one goal, one achievement. Yes, we only have one thing in mind, Pass out from BSLC. But that is not enough to drive you. Life really sucks as a trainee in SISPEC and I thought BMT was worst? Come on. Standards have got to buck up in SISPEC.
No matter how I detest this place, I really love the freedom they gave, just don't overstep your limits. I wanted slack training too, but when it is time to get it down, to be serious, then show professionalism people! Sense of urgency PLEASE!!!
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