I am honestly worried. I mean, I have been given a chance to shine in the area of Animation. But, I just feel that, the industry certainly needs more ANIMATORS and MODELERS rather than STORY-BOARDING/SCRIP-WRITING.
Its been 5 weeks with 3D Sense Media. It was a rough ride for me as I had to juggle, work, school work, and my animation homework. Most of the stuff I did right now, are just simply not what I liked. I wanted to do animation. But as I began to go into it. I found that in the end, I prefer to tell the stories. But to portray it on film, I am not so sure anymore... Yet I am still pressing on.
It really was a very intense and rough week. First there was the lost of handphone incident in Guardian Pharmacy. The customer lost her handphone, then I remembered last night I placed a handphone below the cashier where a shelf is located. When I searched, its not there. PANIC!
Everything in Guardian was so intense once again. That day was really the worst day of my life. I mean, I was scolded by Lynn for not being on time. For Chatting on the phone when Cashiering, but I was talking to a new job opportunity, yea I know I deserved it. In the end the phone was with one of our staff who took it home? WHAT IN THE WORLD??? Haiz...
And before that, my mom woke me up, when I was still in a daze that I have not been doing my work? Or something like that. I just simply hate it when people wake me up, when clearly I am so bloody tired for something like a talk. The thing is, I controlled myself, trying to talk it out, then my mom mentioned something then I snapped. I guess, its really coz I am really tired, and she kept repeating it, and I am trying my best to listen, but I cant, and then she started accusing me. So i snapped, I shouted at her. I shouldn't have. It was wrong.
After I have shouted at her for waking me up so early to lecture me, I was suddenly afraid. I mean, I do not usually shout at people at the level I shouted. I do not like to give in to anger, cause I know my anger is very quick to hurt people. I have been afraid to be angry at others because the moment I snapped, I cannot hold back. Thus I always want to attain peace in my life. I never want to get angry again.
So yea I shouted at my own Mom, which got my Dad annoyed and started blaming her. I mean, I felt bad at that instant. Because I do not want my family to fall apart just because of one foolish son. I've already created enough trouble for my family for taking a course in animation and to retake one more semester. I can't believe I'm actually writing this!
I mean I feel like a real failure. I have never felt failure so much more than in the area of science, in the area of HARDWORK! I do not understand WHY ME? Why do I detest HARDWORK? Is my flesh at work? If that's the case, I'm going to have to break it. The bondage of not being able to do Hardwork. I need to find a way. Or I can never achieve anything great.
Thank God for music. Its the only medium that I always run back to whenever I feel hurt and down, happy or sad. Delighted, elated. I've been so into it, learning new strumming patterns from a band called Secondhand Serenade. I'm going to post a youtube video about the latest hit, Fall For you. Its amazing! And i can play it! The problem? Lyrics. To Sing and play, is really a challenge. Thus, I'm not going to do a cover unless I'm sure of my lyrics. Thus, the little videos I have. Some were hastily posted. I need to change the video for one or two.
I also want to thank God for getting me out of the predicament of getting caught in a police report because of the phone. I was really freaked man. No joke and totally scared out of my wits. SHEESH! Well, if you do want to Jam, I'm free on Wednesdays only. Gimme a call! Coz I got free incoming. Haha... You know who you are...
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