You know, my whole life, I've never really took art seriously. I wonder why that only until now, that I realize how "artistic" I am. I find myself talking a lot about cartoons and games and anime. However, I do not like to dwell on cartoons too much when I talk to my friends. Yes even in cell group I never talked about cartoons. And how I spent most of my child-hood watching them.
At this point of time, most of you would go, "What a waste of your child-hood. You should spent it going out to play with your 'friends'."
Well guess what. I did not have a good childhood. Therefore no friends. I am always the bullies next target, whether I'm in school or even in the Child-Care Centre.
So you're wondering, why am I talking about this when my title states either wise? Reason being, I feel I have to say this out sooner or later, maybe even repeat to those who have never heard about it. So I might as well just pen it down, or in this case blog it down.
All through my child-hood(referring to Kinder-garden 1 and 2 and Primary School Days), I do not bully people, people bully me. Maybe I just irritate some people because I remember I tend to talk too much. And I made the wrong friend for my Primary School. Now that primary school friend, the last time i saw him he was in the same secondary school as me, however, he is in Normal stream. Not saying he is lousy or anything, I really thank God I did not fail for Express in that school, or I may never survive if i enter Normal.
But thats not the main story. The thing was, I even went through fights before. Yes a brawl. I mean, i use to just let them hit me, until I could no longer take it. However, those people I face were just too fast for me (further more they used sticks to hit me).
I even remember one time in the playground, some TEENAGERS (and i was only primary school) took my bike and ran away with it. They came back eventually, not before popping my tires. At that time, I was so scared that they steal my bike and got in trouble, i actually chased them. The whole time, the guys friends were laughing at me, while I desperately tried to chase the guy who stole my bike.
In the end I can only relate to cartoons in the sense, those were like my friends at that time. Sure I use to have friends in Primary 1 and 2, after that, I could not define who are my friends and foes. However, i have a yearning to search for one. Which came to secondary school. Guess what, got bullied again! How infuriating.
This time I wasn't into cartoons as I found out that I was getting obese, i stuck to exercise which is a good transition. However i still watch cartoons but not alot. Only a one or two cartoon flicks.
Anyway i was into Basketball. So i played one time in the court near my house. There was this guy who was actually infamous for being a delinquent in my Secondary School. He was in the court. I for one just shoot some hoops not bothering him. Or at least to me I am not bothering him. Because one time he ask me to get off the court i was like, you are the only one there with a BICYCLE in a BASKETBALL court, why should i move? Den he did the thing I kinda imagined. He grab my basketball and took off with his bike. I just yelled at him, to return it to me. He circled the court. I chased after it of course. Natural reaction.
Then he came to a stop at the centre of the court. He told me to come and get it. I saw him get off his bike. And walk towards me. So i walk towards him too. I hold up my hand to ask for the ball. "return it pls." I said. The guy just look at me and said. "Take it la!" And he held up the ball. I tried to take it, he pull it back. Like he was using me as a partner for basketball. At that time, I really did not have patience. I just grab the ball, my reaction is rather fast, and use my back to to anchor onto his body and pry the ball from his hands. He was yelling all the vulgarities when i did that.
In that moment, he punched my head! A few times, can't really count in that situation. It just hurt. So i used all my strength and snatch the ball away. And walked away from the court. He kept telling me to come back to fight. I said nothing and kept walking away. "you're a coward!" I heard him say. Better be a coward then bully people.
You see, before this incident itself, I actually bullied one of my new found friends in the playground in the park. He was only younger than me by two years. However, he was one stuck up spoiled brat. I went to his house before. His TV was a projector screen. How cool is tat? His maid always tried to tell him off. But he would not listen. And he had a grandmother who always went down with them. Until one day, we had a fight.
We practically pull punches. Actually it was not the first time I went into a fight. So hit him until he fell to the ground. I got on top of him and went hammering away. Even the grandmother tried to stop me, I was able to shun her away. I was caught up in my anger for this guy. Sometimes I feel that it was all of a sudden I realize what I was doing. I was mimicking the bullies that I had in my own life. I realized my mistake and I was afraid. In fact many times, when my anger acted up, I will do alot of things I would never imagine I would do. Like shouting abnormally loud as in really a roar. It wasn't funny.
So I manage to say sorry to that boy, and was friends again. But you know that sometimes it takes time to heal that hurt.
So what does all this have to do with my path? Nothing. But thanks for reading up till this point.
The path I wish to take is the arts path. Because in art, which I only found out in secondary 2, i can express what I feel in colours and in pictures. Since all my life, I live it based on pictures, I have alot of things to say in pictures. But I just could not draw. I can portray it in music? But I always forgot my melody of the music. So i gave up most of my written songs. Coz its written, but no melody. Its still in my archives. Not going to just throw away what I came up. It could be useful in future.
Even music is part of ARTS! I mean, I love music, I love pictures, drawing them, conveying the message. Love manga especially and how they convey the story. By the way, I only got interested in manga because a friend of mine in Secondary 3, kept bringing manga books. And the whole class got into it. First it was the Love Hina saga. Our class maybe the best class (triple pure science double math) and yet we appreciate books. In this class I found book lovers, however mostly I read fantasy fiction. Love to way people portray it in the books and I wanted to make a show out of it!
So the manga bacame my focus, not cartoons. And eventually as I look back at all the things I like to do are all concerning the ARTS! Wow... I do not spend time in the library to research materials in detail? I read all the books that stuff could never happen. Animorphs, Asterix and Obelix comic series, Everworld, Harry Potter etc. Most of the books I love were from K.A. Applegate, but now its Brian Jaques, the creator of REDWALL!!! That was the most amazing series of novels I have ever read.
So now I know I like Arts, I've prayed about it, and God did give me some visions pertaining to me doing some drawing. I was looking forward to the animation field because that way I can reach to the masses easily. Everybody can appreciate animation. I mean Disney was one example! If we can capture the audience like Disney, and bring great detail like the Japanese, then we are indeed a somebody in the world of animation.
However, I have a dilemma concerning which school to go. You see, Digipen is now in Singapore. Its the only University now that is recognized by gaming companies. Yet I do not know if they accept Diploma's from 3D Sense Media school or Eggstory Digital Arts Acadamy, two of these schools I'm looking forward to. Eggstory because of their focus into Film, 3D sense for its versatility in looking for various jobs. However, 3D sense very siong! one year and then you get their diploma. And you are learning EVERYTHING! 2 years for Eggstory but you are only going to learn the normal film industry stuff. I am torn! Digipen is looking for diplomas too. But that problem was already solved. I have a diploma for Biotechnology, which i can use! Reason why i want to get into either of this schools is for the drawing techniques.
Either way all is for the best. Wow, very long post, I hope you did not fall asleep. Haha. Thanks for reading till the end.
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