Its the year 2015.
It has been a long time but this blog has mostly been about my rantings and my self realization of how much I have grown.
Should ever someone decide to look into this blog to have a glimpse of my past?
Well, there you have it.
My immature self undergoing reflections because I love the fact that I needed an outlet to express my thoughts and I find it in Blogging.
Sadly, now a days the blogging scene is mostly about advertising, using it as leverage to earn money.
Where were the days where people used Blogging to reflect and think and share experiences?
But Clement, people are sharing services and their lifestyle blogs online, it helps to change my lifestyle to look better, feel better and be a part of a niche group of fashionista.
Make no mistake. I am not saying these are wrong...
Where is blogging in its essence of reflections?
Do people like to read what people think anymore? Answer is no.
No one likes to listen to your crap, unless you somehow manage to solve their problems.
Its going to be same with businesses.
You need to understand which are your talents gifts and abilities to help people guide your choices!
I used to start a movie review blog.
But as time goes by, even these will be past beyond me. I need to find my market.
This blog serves to track my progress of self-discovery.
Yes I will always have my Facebook to help keep track of my activities. But nothing allows me to go deeper, then a blog post.
Yes, Facebook have notes, but I have learnt that a Blog post should just stick to Blog. Facebook Notes are merely for oneself to promote the content of it in Facebook.
So I shall stick to blogging my way up. And see what other things the Holy Spirit will give me as I type my thoughts out.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The Battle of Faith and Fear! Faith Sermon!
As I come back to my blog page, I felt that today I should start documenting all my Sermon Outlines for Preaching Test and link it to my above Topic of Male by Birth, Men by Choice. After all, I really am For Men's Ministry. =)
Today I would like to share with you on my message entitled.
THE BATTLE OF FAITH AND FEAR!
26 But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
In Matthew 8:23-27, as I read this passage, I looked at it in a new direction. The disciples were Fearful, after all a storm arosed! Not just any storm though, in the greek, the word Tempest is the word Seismos, where you get the word Siesmic Activity which is usually refered to as an Earthquake.
So what they are experiencing over there, is a sudden storm of EPIC proportions! The disciples lives flashed before their very eyes as the waves crashed onto the flimsy boat they were in. Fear began to enter them and they ran helter skelter for cover! Like there is any cover at all left in the open lake...
Then they start to remember, there was this person that they followed, Jesus! He can calm the storm! So they went looking for Him and found Him doing the exact opposite as any sane person in the world would do. Sleep in the Storm.
The disciples were furious! "Can't you see we are perishing!" said one. "You dare to take a nap in the midst of a stormy sea?"
Jesus awoke then and start to speak in a gentle tone. "Why are you Fearful, O you of Little Faith?" then it hit me at that very instant!
This phrase that Jesus spoke, intrigued me. When Jesus make this statement, you can divide it into two parts. "Why are you Fearful." and "O you of little Faith." what Jesus meant was, that the disciples had Fear as well as Faith dwelling in their hearts. God is a person who deals with the Heart and Minds of People and really, most of the problems are really problems from our very heart.
This question was then posted:
"Is it possible to have Fear and Faith in us at the same time?" The answer came to me quickly. "Yes."
For the carnal mind is enmity against God. That is why Christians must live a life that is very engaging. Especially with things regarding the mind. For the mind is something that we Fight in the spirit realm. We need to be more engaging and do not allow another foothold for demons to grab hold.
Now there are 3 steps we can take to Counter Fear in our Hearts:
1) To Hear the Word of God.
Romans 10:17
Now Faith comes by Hearing and Hearing by the Word of God.
Learn to read out the bible. Make yourself heard! Keep hearing things about Faith! Listen to praise and worship song about Faith!
Like "I Walk... By Faith... Each Step... By Faith... To Live... By Faith... I Put my Trust in You!"
2) Put the Word into Action!
Today I would like to share with you on my message entitled.
THE BATTLE OF FAITH AND FEAR!
Matthew 8:23-27
New King James Version (NKJV)
Wind and Wave Obey Jesus
23 Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. 25 Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”26 But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
In Matthew 8:23-27, as I read this passage, I looked at it in a new direction. The disciples were Fearful, after all a storm arosed! Not just any storm though, in the greek, the word Tempest is the word Seismos, where you get the word Siesmic Activity which is usually refered to as an Earthquake.
So what they are experiencing over there, is a sudden storm of EPIC proportions! The disciples lives flashed before their very eyes as the waves crashed onto the flimsy boat they were in. Fear began to enter them and they ran helter skelter for cover! Like there is any cover at all left in the open lake...
Then they start to remember, there was this person that they followed, Jesus! He can calm the storm! So they went looking for Him and found Him doing the exact opposite as any sane person in the world would do. Sleep in the Storm.
The disciples were furious! "Can't you see we are perishing!" said one. "You dare to take a nap in the midst of a stormy sea?"
Jesus awoke then and start to speak in a gentle tone. "Why are you Fearful, O you of Little Faith?" then it hit me at that very instant!
This phrase that Jesus spoke, intrigued me. When Jesus make this statement, you can divide it into two parts. "Why are you Fearful." and "O you of little Faith." what Jesus meant was, that the disciples had Fear as well as Faith dwelling in their hearts. God is a person who deals with the Heart and Minds of People and really, most of the problems are really problems from our very heart.
This question was then posted:
"Is it possible to have Fear and Faith in us at the same time?" The answer came to me quickly. "Yes."
For the carnal mind is enmity against God. That is why Christians must live a life that is very engaging. Especially with things regarding the mind. For the mind is something that we Fight in the spirit realm. We need to be more engaging and do not allow another foothold for demons to grab hold.
Now there are 3 steps we can take to Counter Fear in our Hearts:
1) To Hear the Word of God.
Romans 10:17
Now Faith comes by Hearing and Hearing by the Word of God.
Learn to read out the bible. Make yourself heard! Keep hearing things about Faith! Listen to praise and worship song about Faith!
Like "I Walk... By Faith... Each Step... By Faith... To Live... By Faith... I Put my Trust in You!"
2) Put the Word into Action!
James 2:26
New King James Version (NKJV)
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
Just like how Pastor Ming always likes to share about the Word of God that was being sown into our Hearts. In SOT we are always listening to multiple sermons! Therefore it is not what is Taught but what is Caught! We need to allow the seed of the Word of God take root on good ground, not allowing the Devil to take it away again.
3) Stand in Faith
Just like how Pastor Ming always likes to share about the Word of God that was being sown into our Hearts. In SOT we are always listening to multiple sermons! Therefore it is not what is Taught but what is Caught! We need to allow the seed of the Word of God take root on good ground, not allowing the Devil to take it away again.
3) Stand in Faith
1 Corinthians 16:13
New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.
This is the hardest thing we can do. After Hearing the word of God, after doing the word, when troubles start to arise, when problems come, we need to Stand in Faith. To be Brave and Be Strong. We need to Trust in God.
For me the number one fear is actually public speaking. I was wondering everyday, how am I going to public speak to these bunch of people who I am training. How am I going to inspire them? Let alone face them!
I went to Hear the word of God. I was always reading about Leadership and the book I happen to live by in army was You the Leader, by Dr Phil Pringle. I used that book and read most of the promises that are in that book.
Then I began to put the Word into Action. Certain tips in the book which I felt it can be used, I exercised it and somehow it turned out rather well.
Lastly, I had to stand in Faith. I trusted in God for his Spirit to come upon me as I lead my recruits to become better people. Every single opportunity I was given to share, I share with Faith in my heart. It wasn't smooth at first, there were times my speaking was not very good. But I choose to stand in Faith. And right now, here I am, speaking to all of you through a blog. LOL! I was addressing this to people on Wednesday, yesterday. Anyway.
The problem is all about Choice.
Faith is a Choice
It is about Choosing Confidence when we lack confidence.
It is about Choosing to Believe when all things are going wrong for you. God will turn it around for your Good.
FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real
FAITH is Forsaking All I Trust Him
Having both in you means:
Having False Evidences that Appear Real, yet we CHOOSE to Forsake All, I Trust Him.
How many of you need a fresh anointing of Faith on your Life?
As you listen to the Word that was spoken, do you feel that Fear has somehow overtaken your life?
You felt as if Fear is taking control of you? But Today, you decide to Choose. You have decided to Choose Faith.
If you decide to choose Faith, I would ask you to lift up your hands at the count of 3. And God will bless you, empower to engage Faith whenever there is Fear in your life. At the count of 3.
1, 2, 3! I see Your hands.
Father I pray for all those hands that are lifted. I pray let your anointing and blessing come upon them right now. I ask for every heart to be open to receive your touch. That Father, you empower them with your Faith, show them how to engage Faith, whenever Fear arises and Father, do not allow Fear to be their bodies reaction because as long as Chirst is in us, we have the ability to counter Fear with Faith. Thank you and we Praise you. In Jesus Mighty name, Amen!
This is the hardest thing we can do. After Hearing the word of God, after doing the word, when troubles start to arise, when problems come, we need to Stand in Faith. To be Brave and Be Strong. We need to Trust in God.
For me the number one fear is actually public speaking. I was wondering everyday, how am I going to public speak to these bunch of people who I am training. How am I going to inspire them? Let alone face them!
I went to Hear the word of God. I was always reading about Leadership and the book I happen to live by in army was You the Leader, by Dr Phil Pringle. I used that book and read most of the promises that are in that book.
Then I began to put the Word into Action. Certain tips in the book which I felt it can be used, I exercised it and somehow it turned out rather well.
Lastly, I had to stand in Faith. I trusted in God for his Spirit to come upon me as I lead my recruits to become better people. Every single opportunity I was given to share, I share with Faith in my heart. It wasn't smooth at first, there were times my speaking was not very good. But I choose to stand in Faith. And right now, here I am, speaking to all of you through a blog. LOL! I was addressing this to people on Wednesday, yesterday. Anyway.
The problem is all about Choice.
Faith is a Choice
It is about Choosing Confidence when we lack confidence.
It is about Choosing to Believe when all things are going wrong for you. God will turn it around for your Good.
FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real
FAITH is Forsaking All I Trust Him
Having both in you means:
Having False Evidences that Appear Real, yet we CHOOSE to Forsake All, I Trust Him.
How many of you need a fresh anointing of Faith on your Life?
As you listen to the Word that was spoken, do you feel that Fear has somehow overtaken your life?
You felt as if Fear is taking control of you? But Today, you decide to Choose. You have decided to Choose Faith.
If you decide to choose Faith, I would ask you to lift up your hands at the count of 3. And God will bless you, empower to engage Faith whenever there is Fear in your life. At the count of 3.
1, 2, 3! I see Your hands.
Father I pray for all those hands that are lifted. I pray let your anointing and blessing come upon them right now. I ask for every heart to be open to receive your touch. That Father, you empower them with your Faith, show them how to engage Faith, whenever Fear arises and Father, do not allow Fear to be their bodies reaction because as long as Chirst is in us, we have the ability to counter Fear with Faith. Thank you and we Praise you. In Jesus Mighty name, Amen!
Monday, July 02, 2012
Personal Encounter: One of the Process of REDEMPTION - DELIVERANCE (Part C)
This is where the Hammer Hits the Nail on the Head...
This is where my Personal Encounter got from glory to glory!
Summarise my encounters so far:
1) I experienced Salvation like never before, having Godly Sorrow and from just the decision to Repent, I am saved and Redeemed!
2) Just from hearing the word of God, coupled with Prayer and Fasting, I received a revelation that illuminated my mind and God's supernatural strength just lived in my through the next day!
3) I am going to explain my Deliverance, and from the word I heard by Dr AR Bernard, how I have become Incorruptible Seed by the process of Deliverance.
Deliverance came after our lessons. Our group was Team 14 and we have broken up into a 5 man team. When Pastor Ming gave us the go ahead to perform Deliverance I was stunned.
I was afraid and totally not comfortable at this point in time. I kept asking myself, should I pray? Should I start casting out demons? Should I just not do anything? What if I fail? What if I am not able to cast the Demon out....
All these questions streamed into my head. Until one of the china students stepped in. His name is Li Ren.He was more senior then us and he instructed the group to first pray in tongues and to seek the Lord how to move in Deliverance.
After praying for a Good 5 minutes, I kept asking the Holy Spirit who should I pray for, who should I minister to? But as I asked I became more anxious because I just can't seem to feel the Holy Spirit...
Then we all stopped praying and Li Ren began to facilitate, asking if anyone has a word. We looked at each other and I was not the only clueless one. Then one of the members spoke up. His name is Jian Ting
"I think I have a word for Clement" Immediately I was a little taken aback.
"What? Me? Need a word from the Lord?" I heard my mind speaking. But I was quick to humble myself and decided to just receive whatever that Jian Ting has in store.
I remembered clearly telling the lord in my heart, that if there is a demon in me, if you need to do a work. No matter how big or small, your will be done.
My friend was praying in tongues and I prayed too until he layed hands on me. I stopped praying and focus on receiving.
There was a good awkward silence as my friend picked up the courage to speak.
"I sense in my heart that you have the Spirit of Fear in your life. You have lived a life full of struggles and fear has hold you back..." Here is where I start to not listen.
I was asking myself "God, I have fear?" Then I quickly acknowledged. And suddenly I remember all those times where I had fear in my heart. I began to feel something inside of me rolling in my belly. Then the next few words I can remember is "I command you, Spirit of Fear, in the Name of Jesus, COME OUT FROM HIM!"
Then I manifested. I wanted to just cough out, but it turned into a scream. Like I was afraid, I keep howling and I thrashed my arms. I was aware of what my body is doing and yet I know I have control over my body. I wanted it out! So I push my belly in, like a singer would when they need to belt. And I just kept Screaming and Coughing. And I felt something LIFT OFF me. At the same time I felt something filling me up and my head was heated up.....
Then I saw a vision. I was sitting on a bench of some sort, with a figure of a man, blurred, a shadow of an image of a person. He was sitting next to me and I found myself recognizing who this person is. "Hi Holy Spirit." He nodded at my response. I do not know why but I felt peaceful. I felt so calm and collected. Then the Holy Sprit told me via impression. He did not really "SPEAK". It was like words that are pressed onto my heart. "Clement. expand your thinking."
I really had no idea what that meant, so I just expanded my thinking the best I know how. And Like a camera that zooms out from a scene, I saw myself in a third person view. I can see myself sitting there. The screen expanded in my mind and I saw another figure standing a little way off.
The first thing in my mind. Jesus.
The Holy Spirit said once again. "Expand!"
I did what I was told again. I expanded, and I saw a throne, huge and what looked like legs of a person, sitting on the throne. All the image I got was totally blurry and shadowy but the form is definately like a man. The next word. The Father.
As I was "busy" in my spirit world. I was very aware of my surroundings as well. I can hear a prophecy which my friend is filling me up with. That the Holy Spirit will give me courage that is a gift from Him. He described the picture that the Holy Spirit showed him, a Sword on the sand. A boat with a light at the bow, the front of the boat. Jian Ting saw me picking up the sword and getting into a boat which leads out to dark waters.
Then after that, another friend of mine prayed for me. "I sense in you the Spirit of Rejection."
I remembered that I was now talking to the Holy Spirit. Through my 3rd Person view. I asked, where in my life did I felt rejected. The Holy Spirit brought me back to see all the images of rejection. Small or Big all came out, with a wave of his hand. He showed me like a film of the pictures where I faced rejection. Then I manifested... Again.
I can hear what my friends are doing in the physical, that I was groaning like a person in pain. I was clutching my hands and I felt anguish, hurt of rejection all start to manifest on its own... But it was quicker this time round...
Then my friend prayed for me. "Holy Spirt I pray you will always stay with Clement. That he will not feel rejected again that you are with Him all the days of his lives. Let him know that Holy Spirit you are always with him. No matter what, you are not alone. Give him that assurance, that peace in his heart." I really felt the peace of God just upon me. And I know I did not want to get up.
I sat there in the spirit. Still enjoying the scenery. My mind expanded on its own, seeing that the place I am in, looked like a colosseum of some sort, similar to the roman colosseum but it is not. The place was made of Gold, with weirdly enough, some greenery, which I thought they could be vegetation of some sort. But it was a MAJESTIC and BEAUTIFUL sight to behold.
"Do you want to see angels?" I felt the prompting. I said, "Yes." But this time, I don't feel fear, all I felt was Faith. The confidence I got was extraordinary. "Expand your thinking."
I Expanded and this time, shapes of creatures with wings surounded the whole colossuem, like a choir they shouted as one! A noise that cannot be heard by human ears but in the spirit, I knew it was a cry of Victory.
I only got up from my experience when Pastor Ming wanted to close the meeting. I have been lying on the floor all this time. As I opened my eyes, there was a pool of tears in my eyes, so much, that it flowed like water was poured over my eyes. But more importantly, when I got up, I just felt so happy! So touched! And my Heart was TENDERIZED that anybody that I hugged I will cry with joy, gratitude and love. I hugged the people who did the deliverance for me, thanking them with all my heart, how grateful I was. And like on Sunday what Dr AR Bernard said, I owe this to God, that I should live my Life as ONE BIG THANK YOU towards God!
I am convinced and deeply moved by how God has set me free. I was not afraid. I was confident. I had Faith. I had the assurance that GOD IS FOR ME! Not against me! This experience I will cheerish forever and ever... Amen.
This is where my Personal Encounter got from glory to glory!
Summarise my encounters so far:
1) I experienced Salvation like never before, having Godly Sorrow and from just the decision to Repent, I am saved and Redeemed!
2) Just from hearing the word of God, coupled with Prayer and Fasting, I received a revelation that illuminated my mind and God's supernatural strength just lived in my through the next day!
3) I am going to explain my Deliverance, and from the word I heard by Dr AR Bernard, how I have become Incorruptible Seed by the process of Deliverance.
Deliverance came after our lessons. Our group was Team 14 and we have broken up into a 5 man team. When Pastor Ming gave us the go ahead to perform Deliverance I was stunned.
I was afraid and totally not comfortable at this point in time. I kept asking myself, should I pray? Should I start casting out demons? Should I just not do anything? What if I fail? What if I am not able to cast the Demon out....
All these questions streamed into my head. Until one of the china students stepped in. His name is Li Ren.He was more senior then us and he instructed the group to first pray in tongues and to seek the Lord how to move in Deliverance.
After praying for a Good 5 minutes, I kept asking the Holy Spirit who should I pray for, who should I minister to? But as I asked I became more anxious because I just can't seem to feel the Holy Spirit...
Then we all stopped praying and Li Ren began to facilitate, asking if anyone has a word. We looked at each other and I was not the only clueless one. Then one of the members spoke up. His name is Jian Ting
"I think I have a word for Clement" Immediately I was a little taken aback.
"What? Me? Need a word from the Lord?" I heard my mind speaking. But I was quick to humble myself and decided to just receive whatever that Jian Ting has in store.
I remembered clearly telling the lord in my heart, that if there is a demon in me, if you need to do a work. No matter how big or small, your will be done.
My friend was praying in tongues and I prayed too until he layed hands on me. I stopped praying and focus on receiving.
There was a good awkward silence as my friend picked up the courage to speak.
"I sense in my heart that you have the Spirit of Fear in your life. You have lived a life full of struggles and fear has hold you back..." Here is where I start to not listen.
I was asking myself "God, I have fear?" Then I quickly acknowledged. And suddenly I remember all those times where I had fear in my heart. I began to feel something inside of me rolling in my belly. Then the next few words I can remember is "I command you, Spirit of Fear, in the Name of Jesus, COME OUT FROM HIM!"
Then I manifested. I wanted to just cough out, but it turned into a scream. Like I was afraid, I keep howling and I thrashed my arms. I was aware of what my body is doing and yet I know I have control over my body. I wanted it out! So I push my belly in, like a singer would when they need to belt. And I just kept Screaming and Coughing. And I felt something LIFT OFF me. At the same time I felt something filling me up and my head was heated up.....
Then I saw a vision. I was sitting on a bench of some sort, with a figure of a man, blurred, a shadow of an image of a person. He was sitting next to me and I found myself recognizing who this person is. "Hi Holy Spirit." He nodded at my response. I do not know why but I felt peaceful. I felt so calm and collected. Then the Holy Sprit told me via impression. He did not really "SPEAK". It was like words that are pressed onto my heart. "Clement. expand your thinking."
I really had no idea what that meant, so I just expanded my thinking the best I know how. And Like a camera that zooms out from a scene, I saw myself in a third person view. I can see myself sitting there. The screen expanded in my mind and I saw another figure standing a little way off.
The first thing in my mind. Jesus.
The Holy Spirit said once again. "Expand!"
I did what I was told again. I expanded, and I saw a throne, huge and what looked like legs of a person, sitting on the throne. All the image I got was totally blurry and shadowy but the form is definately like a man. The next word. The Father.
As I was "busy" in my spirit world. I was very aware of my surroundings as well. I can hear a prophecy which my friend is filling me up with. That the Holy Spirit will give me courage that is a gift from Him. He described the picture that the Holy Spirit showed him, a Sword on the sand. A boat with a light at the bow, the front of the boat. Jian Ting saw me picking up the sword and getting into a boat which leads out to dark waters.
Then after that, another friend of mine prayed for me. "I sense in you the Spirit of Rejection."
I remembered that I was now talking to the Holy Spirit. Through my 3rd Person view. I asked, where in my life did I felt rejected. The Holy Spirit brought me back to see all the images of rejection. Small or Big all came out, with a wave of his hand. He showed me like a film of the pictures where I faced rejection. Then I manifested... Again.
I can hear what my friends are doing in the physical, that I was groaning like a person in pain. I was clutching my hands and I felt anguish, hurt of rejection all start to manifest on its own... But it was quicker this time round...
Then my friend prayed for me. "Holy Spirt I pray you will always stay with Clement. That he will not feel rejected again that you are with Him all the days of his lives. Let him know that Holy Spirit you are always with him. No matter what, you are not alone. Give him that assurance, that peace in his heart." I really felt the peace of God just upon me. And I know I did not want to get up.
I sat there in the spirit. Still enjoying the scenery. My mind expanded on its own, seeing that the place I am in, looked like a colosseum of some sort, similar to the roman colosseum but it is not. The place was made of Gold, with weirdly enough, some greenery, which I thought they could be vegetation of some sort. But it was a MAJESTIC and BEAUTIFUL sight to behold.
"Do you want to see angels?" I felt the prompting. I said, "Yes." But this time, I don't feel fear, all I felt was Faith. The confidence I got was extraordinary. "Expand your thinking."
I Expanded and this time, shapes of creatures with wings surounded the whole colossuem, like a choir they shouted as one! A noise that cannot be heard by human ears but in the spirit, I knew it was a cry of Victory.
I only got up from my experience when Pastor Ming wanted to close the meeting. I have been lying on the floor all this time. As I opened my eyes, there was a pool of tears in my eyes, so much, that it flowed like water was poured over my eyes. But more importantly, when I got up, I just felt so happy! So touched! And my Heart was TENDERIZED that anybody that I hugged I will cry with joy, gratitude and love. I hugged the people who did the deliverance for me, thanking them with all my heart, how grateful I was. And like on Sunday what Dr AR Bernard said, I owe this to God, that I should live my Life as ONE BIG THANK YOU towards God!
I am convinced and deeply moved by how God has set me free. I was not afraid. I was confident. I had Faith. I had the assurance that GOD IS FOR ME! Not against me! This experience I will cheerish forever and ever... Amen.
Personal Encounter - Moving on From Repentance to Redemption (Part B)
During Pastor Ming's sessions, all of a sudden, I felt so much anxiety over this topic. So much that I really could not "feel" the holy spirit moving in my life. Although there was one time that I did moved in the Holy Spirit, that was under careful instruction by my cell group leader. I never knew he was that good in moving in the spirit. I was able to move in Prophecy.
Let me recall that experience. My cell group leader demonstrated to me, first of all not to fear but move in Faith. You need to ask the Holy Spirit what is it that He wants to prophecy over the person you are praying over. Whatever is the first word that enter my heart, I need to speak it out first.
For this case it was Love. And I told myself to speak out. "I sensed the Lord saying that He loves you."
The moment I did that, immediately the next few words began to flow. And I spoke them out. There are times that the words seem to connect together. Seem to flow like a river flowing down. And there are times which He gave a Word. I had to really exercise Wisdom to interpret what I saw.
At the end of it, I asked how was the prophecy (whether is it accurate or not). My leader was touched by it. Right now I can only recall certain bits and pieces which I spoke to him. Regarding cell group growth and how my leader had some ideas which he felt he wanted to implement. But at the timing that God wants to move.
This however, only happen to me once... at this juncture.
I moved on with the series in Pastor Ming's Gifts of the Holy Spirit. However, the whole time I really felt super super BLOCKED in the spirit. I couldn't understand why I was unable to receive the spirit and I just keep thinking and thinking. But I received no answer...
Then that fateful day... When Dr. A.R. Bernard was coming. I made a decision to Fast for three days because I felt an impression to fast (which after awhile I am convinced, it was the influence of the Holy Spirit).
Here comes the Details: 4th 5th 6th May
I broke fast on Monday: 7th May, felt spirit led again to fast, and I decided the number of days to fast. Which is 3 days again. For Dr A.R. Bernards session on Tuesday.
So I fasted on 8th 9th10th May. Both fasts are Food Fast. Meaning I only drink water or beverages (fruit juice etc etc.)
I fasted without knowing what Pastor Ming was going to do on the last day.
I remembered the messages that lead up to my encounter. The Leaders Meeting was the one that blew us away.
All I took away was what he shared prophetically CITY HARVEST CHURCH as w whole we are going to become.
The most important things that a Man can do, is to
1. CREATE an IMAGE. Also known as Brand Identiy. Every single person has done that. Dr AR Bernard warned us that this is not a sin, after all, God created a being in an image and likeness of Himself. City Harvest Church has their own brand identity. This is something very powerful, because Babylon created an image, making it the most Powerful Empire that the world has seen.
The next most powerful thing that can beat Creating an Image...
2. Is to DESTROY an Image. That is what our enemy, the Devil has always been doing. He likes to destroy the image that God has originally intended and created you to be... The ratio to creating and destroying an image is very fast as well. It is easy to set up, and it is easy to be torn apart and destroyed
Thank God that the story does not stop there.Because there is something more powerful then Destroying an image and that is only:
3. To REDEEM an Image! God takes what is destroyed and breathes new life and brings you back to His original intent and Purpose in your life. Guess what, things that have been destroyed and redeemed by God, they are now INCORRUPTIBLE SEED. Meaning...
IT CANNOT BE DESTROYED EVER AGAIN!
When that word was shared, that CITY HARVEST will also be experiencing this REDEMPTION, the whole hall exploded with excitement! I was also totally illuminated in my mind! I desire to experience this process of Redemption!
The following morning, I do not even feel the effects of fasting which is hunger. Even if I did, I felt stronger to overcome it.
Then came the last day. on the 10th May is where I had my Redemption. Pastor Ming announced on the 9th of May that we will be moving in Deliverances.
This is where everything falls into place...
Let me recall that experience. My cell group leader demonstrated to me, first of all not to fear but move in Faith. You need to ask the Holy Spirit what is it that He wants to prophecy over the person you are praying over. Whatever is the first word that enter my heart, I need to speak it out first.
For this case it was Love. And I told myself to speak out. "I sensed the Lord saying that He loves you."
The moment I did that, immediately the next few words began to flow. And I spoke them out. There are times that the words seem to connect together. Seem to flow like a river flowing down. And there are times which He gave a Word. I had to really exercise Wisdom to interpret what I saw.
At the end of it, I asked how was the prophecy (whether is it accurate or not). My leader was touched by it. Right now I can only recall certain bits and pieces which I spoke to him. Regarding cell group growth and how my leader had some ideas which he felt he wanted to implement. But at the timing that God wants to move.
This however, only happen to me once... at this juncture.
I moved on with the series in Pastor Ming's Gifts of the Holy Spirit. However, the whole time I really felt super super BLOCKED in the spirit. I couldn't understand why I was unable to receive the spirit and I just keep thinking and thinking. But I received no answer...
Then that fateful day... When Dr. A.R. Bernard was coming. I made a decision to Fast for three days because I felt an impression to fast (which after awhile I am convinced, it was the influence of the Holy Spirit).
Here comes the Details: 4th 5th 6th May
I broke fast on Monday: 7th May, felt spirit led again to fast, and I decided the number of days to fast. Which is 3 days again. For Dr A.R. Bernards session on Tuesday.
So I fasted on 8th 9th10th May. Both fasts are Food Fast. Meaning I only drink water or beverages (fruit juice etc etc.)
I fasted without knowing what Pastor Ming was going to do on the last day.
I remembered the messages that lead up to my encounter. The Leaders Meeting was the one that blew us away.
All I took away was what he shared prophetically CITY HARVEST CHURCH as w whole we are going to become.
The most important things that a Man can do, is to
1. CREATE an IMAGE. Also known as Brand Identiy. Every single person has done that. Dr AR Bernard warned us that this is not a sin, after all, God created a being in an image and likeness of Himself. City Harvest Church has their own brand identity. This is something very powerful, because Babylon created an image, making it the most Powerful Empire that the world has seen.
The next most powerful thing that can beat Creating an Image...
2. Is to DESTROY an Image. That is what our enemy, the Devil has always been doing. He likes to destroy the image that God has originally intended and created you to be... The ratio to creating and destroying an image is very fast as well. It is easy to set up, and it is easy to be torn apart and destroyed
Thank God that the story does not stop there.Because there is something more powerful then Destroying an image and that is only:
3. To REDEEM an Image! God takes what is destroyed and breathes new life and brings you back to His original intent and Purpose in your life. Guess what, things that have been destroyed and redeemed by God, they are now INCORRUPTIBLE SEED. Meaning...
IT CANNOT BE DESTROYED EVER AGAIN!
When that word was shared, that CITY HARVEST will also be experiencing this REDEMPTION, the whole hall exploded with excitement! I was also totally illuminated in my mind! I desire to experience this process of Redemption!
The following morning, I do not even feel the effects of fasting which is hunger. Even if I did, I felt stronger to overcome it.
Then came the last day. on the 10th May is where I had my Redemption. Pastor Ming announced on the 9th of May that we will be moving in Deliverances.
This is where everything falls into place...
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Personal Encounter - Breaking of the Power of Sin (Part A)
As I step into SOT, God has shown me multiple ways to overcome my Sin behaviour but there was no other way to break the Sin Factory. But it was all thanks to the Word of God that was shared in Song of Solomon. That was my first Encounter.
I can remember hearing the Holy Spirit to act on my Sin of Impurity. I was involved in Sexual Sin of a kind that I have harboured within me for many years. One that tormented my mind, and even gave me a huge difficulty to overcome. It had such a terrible hold on my life. I felt hopeless and was not free. No matter how the Word was preached, I did my best to stop such deeds, but it was no use. Until the process started from the bible Study of the Book of Song of Solomon.
Pastor Kong preached something that I was totally into it. That is to live a life of a mature believer, to have the Holy Spirit literally as your companion. I wanted that. I wanted it so badly, that as I was told what the Holy Spirit liked in a believer is to have PURITY. I was immediately convicted in my heart. That one day, I really cried out to God, I felt Him, as I kneel before His Presence, I was totally overwhelmed with "Godly Sorrow" for what I have done.
As what was described in 2 Cor 7:10-13 (Found out about this during one of my recent bible reading.)
10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 11 For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, whatindignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter. 12 Therefore, although I wrote to you, I did notdo it for the sake of him who had done the wrong, nor for the sake of him who suffered wrong, but that our care for you in the sight of God might appear to you.
Indeed. It has cleared myself. I remember the experience...
As my tears kept flowing, the amount of anguish I released towards wanting to have a change of heart and mind, I would have never known that God planned it in a way that was a series of encounters for me.
First the Holy Spirit gave me a vision of what to do about my Sin behaviour, and a vision of why there was such torment in my life regarding the issue of Sexual Sin. I saw it and immediately knew the problem... it was Keeping a Secret to my parents and to the people I love. I needed to Confess to my Parents, and even to my Cell Group Leader...
It was actually a hard thing for me to do. But I was all ready to give it up. I confessed my sin, in every single detail. What have I done. Who have I hurt. Where was the area of act. When did it happen. And after describing the whole thing. Ask for Forgiveness towards the person with all sincerity and brokeness... Humility.
I did the same to my cell group leader. What I have done was, I was being accountable to my actions and to admit that it was a huge mistake on my part and it has got nothing to do with whether I was young when it happen. A sin is a sin.
It did not just Break totally, but I know it was a start. As we went through Pst Ming's lesson on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, it was a time of action. Where we are introduced to the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Satan.... This is not the end btw.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
-Choir ministry
Finally, in the year 2011, month of August, or was it September... Hmmm, Can't remember. But along those two months, is where I officially joined Choir Ministry! It was a ministry that I have longed to attend for the longest time!
I met many new friends during my time in choir, and have been trying to forge them ever since. It was like God's way of replying to me that this is my chance to re-establish my friend circles and to live my life and serve Him in this area, where I have a certain gift for it. Singing parts. I did not know it would be that difficult, especially since I was categorized as a Tenor. Sometimes, I wish I am not a Tenor. Because some of the notes are pretty high to hit!
So I went through Choir until now in 2012, in the midst of SOT, I am still in choir but I felt like I am serving overtime. But who cares... I love this ministry. =)
-Finally, SOT 2012
I have quit my job at EPSON. Gone for a short trip to CHINA. And now I am back in Singapore for SOT!!!
It has been a great journey through my blog and its been so long since I have seen my last post and my calling to SOT was real. It was supernaturally, financially paid for. I received a bonus that covered my whole SOT fees! There is still Misc stuff that needs to pay too. So I have been looking for a job and I am studying and working part time as well right now. By the grace of God, I have learnt much of the Word of God aka WOG.
It is just so amazing how the bible is packed with so much truth of the world we are living today and most of the stuff are predicted from four thousand years ago (exaggerated).
I have encountered God as well in a spiritual way and I will document what I experience and what I have seen. I don't care what people will say, but if you have a comment. There it is below. But if you do not want to know then forget it then. LOL!
There will be more to write for my time in SOT. Until then. Chill out...
Finally, in the year 2011, month of August, or was it September... Hmmm, Can't remember. But along those two months, is where I officially joined Choir Ministry! It was a ministry that I have longed to attend for the longest time!
I met many new friends during my time in choir, and have been trying to forge them ever since. It was like God's way of replying to me that this is my chance to re-establish my friend circles and to live my life and serve Him in this area, where I have a certain gift for it. Singing parts. I did not know it would be that difficult, especially since I was categorized as a Tenor. Sometimes, I wish I am not a Tenor. Because some of the notes are pretty high to hit!
So I went through Choir until now in 2012, in the midst of SOT, I am still in choir but I felt like I am serving overtime. But who cares... I love this ministry. =)
-Finally, SOT 2012
I have quit my job at EPSON. Gone for a short trip to CHINA. And now I am back in Singapore for SOT!!!
It has been a great journey through my blog and its been so long since I have seen my last post and my calling to SOT was real. It was supernaturally, financially paid for. I received a bonus that covered my whole SOT fees! There is still Misc stuff that needs to pay too. So I have been looking for a job and I am studying and working part time as well right now. By the grace of God, I have learnt much of the Word of God aka WOG.
It is just so amazing how the bible is packed with so much truth of the world we are living today and most of the stuff are predicted from four thousand years ago (exaggerated).
I have encountered God as well in a spiritual way and I will document what I experience and what I have seen. I don't care what people will say, but if you have a comment. There it is below. But if you do not want to know then forget it then. LOL!
There will be more to write for my time in SOT. Until then. Chill out...
Year 2012
Blogging has taken a huge rest in my life... However recently, there are much events that I wish to document in my old blog, and since my profile is not yet deleted (PTL) I am able to revamp and recollect every thing that has happened to me in the past.
How shall I begin this post?
Let's have an update as to what has happened so far previously.
- Army NS Liability Completed
I have finally fulfilled my calling to National Service of 2 years of my life. Although the experience was filled with much pain, grieve, sorrow, fear, rejection, I made it through. People usually enjoy their 2 years in NS and I do have my fair share of happiness as well. But trust me, it wasn't the best OVERALL.
- Pursuing the Arts (Lasalle College of the Arts)
After which I decided to pursue arts during my last few months before I ORD. I have been attending Art classes in Lasalle, short courses that expose the world of Art to me. I felt at that time, I had a great interest in such activities and also felt confidence when I tried to replicate another person's drawing or pictures given. It was an eye opening experience for me as I watched nude people in front of me and I had to do real Life Drawing classes. I experienced the role of an artist, amateurish but fun.
- Working World (Epson Singapore Pte Ltd)
Next, I enter the Working World. I had great difficulty finding a Job but God has been Faithful to me. I prayed for a job to sustain me for a year, because of certain family relationship problems I faced (With regards to filial piety and finances) my dreams of going to SOT was dashed for that year. It was probably God's way of saying I am not ready.
So I decided to work for a year, to prove also my own filial piety towards my parents and towards myself, my own character. I also took this opportunity to be more spiritual by participating and going through all church activities. But aside from that, Epson was one of the first working experiences that I will carry with me for life. It was a model of how working life should be like. Where we are friends that help each other out in the workplace, and office politics is still present, but behind the scenes we were helping each other. I felt the support given to me and to adjust to the job scope was very well done, also because I felt that all those times in army has molded my character to be more reliable and more effective towards working. On top of that, the people were friendly, despite age and circumstances, we all are neutral and also fun to discuss topics together.
I felt for the first time, loved in a workplace, except for certain Boss moments which I was very expectant for it to happen.
The job I have also gave me much experiences in administrative duties that require me to sit in front of a computer, manipulating data management, logistics data movement and indication of stock location and usage. From the terms I used, you would probably guess I am under logistics.
Well, yes and no. I am a Purchaser. I have to maintain a database for all the products I have bought, monitor the stock level and to bring in or order more materials when it starts to run out. I have to maintain timing and stock levels all at the same time, on top of helping out with new improvement projects that the company wished to established. It was a valuable experience for me.
Part 2 Coming up...
- Army NS Liability Completed
I have finally fulfilled my calling to National Service of 2 years of my life. Although the experience was filled with much pain, grieve, sorrow, fear, rejection, I made it through. People usually enjoy their 2 years in NS and I do have my fair share of happiness as well. But trust me, it wasn't the best OVERALL.
- Pursuing the Arts (Lasalle College of the Arts)
After which I decided to pursue arts during my last few months before I ORD. I have been attending Art classes in Lasalle, short courses that expose the world of Art to me. I felt at that time, I had a great interest in such activities and also felt confidence when I tried to replicate another person's drawing or pictures given. It was an eye opening experience for me as I watched nude people in front of me and I had to do real Life Drawing classes. I experienced the role of an artist, amateurish but fun.
- Working World (Epson Singapore Pte Ltd)
Next, I enter the Working World. I had great difficulty finding a Job but God has been Faithful to me. I prayed for a job to sustain me for a year, because of certain family relationship problems I faced (With regards to filial piety and finances) my dreams of going to SOT was dashed for that year. It was probably God's way of saying I am not ready.
So I decided to work for a year, to prove also my own filial piety towards my parents and towards myself, my own character. I also took this opportunity to be more spiritual by participating and going through all church activities. But aside from that, Epson was one of the first working experiences that I will carry with me for life. It was a model of how working life should be like. Where we are friends that help each other out in the workplace, and office politics is still present, but behind the scenes we were helping each other. I felt the support given to me and to adjust to the job scope was very well done, also because I felt that all those times in army has molded my character to be more reliable and more effective towards working. On top of that, the people were friendly, despite age and circumstances, we all are neutral and also fun to discuss topics together.
I felt for the first time, loved in a workplace, except for certain Boss moments which I was very expectant for it to happen.
The job I have also gave me much experiences in administrative duties that require me to sit in front of a computer, manipulating data management, logistics data movement and indication of stock location and usage. From the terms I used, you would probably guess I am under logistics.
Well, yes and no. I am a Purchaser. I have to maintain a database for all the products I have bought, monitor the stock level and to bring in or order more materials when it starts to run out. I have to maintain timing and stock levels all at the same time, on top of helping out with new improvement projects that the company wished to established. It was a valuable experience for me.
Part 2 Coming up...
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Year 2010
Looking back this year, I believe I have learnt many things about myself. I am a natural Procrastinator. I can't help it. Its either I felt it was important to do things, if not I won't even bother. Secondly, my management skills are like so-so, compared to others. Am I really fit to lead people? I believe I ask that question many times and always my answers are vague.
I came to many conclusions about Life and one of them happens to be "Life is EXTREMELY VAGUE, you either jump in with Faith and succeed or fail, or, you hold back with Fear and never accomplish anything. I tried both. However the first option seems to be the most promising. Because even if you jump in and fail, yes you will be somewhat 'humiliated' but after a while, when you know about when the shit will hit the fan, you start to notice the patterns around you and cause for it to not happen the second attempt.
In the short period of time with my Encik, I have learnt many things from his arrival. Many things I looked up to him, his Child like Faith in our company despite the odds, his charismatic way of addressing to the recruits and to us, and also his policy on being HUMBLE and to show RESPECT to others even if they are our enemies and they harmed us, just FORGIVE them and prove to them that you are the best. That is called healthy pride. Guess where that was taken from? The Bible my friends. In army we always lack these things I specifically caps. In fact in life itself, we are lacking these and thats why there are many backstabbings. I've seen how my Encik, new as he is, accept punishment from his superior and if anybody of his same level of appointment or anyone for that matter, do him injustice or random scolding, he will ask nicely what is the problem, settle it as quickly as possible, and after that ask the person if the job was satisfactory and if it is all done. Once he acknowledges, my encik will tell him nicely, "See I got it for you all done, talk to me nicely next time ok?" in a very nice tone and walked off.
Meeting my encik in 2010 for me was the turning point to my 2 years liability of my NS life. I was more cheerful, less agitated and more clear on my job scope. I thank all my fellow sergeants and recruits for creating a fun experience for me in BMTC. Despite the fact that we are a new school and are pioneering a lot of things, we went through weird problems that I felt we should not be going through. But the experience I gain is so invaluble and I will always keep it in my mind and heart.
I came to many conclusions about Life and one of them happens to be "Life is EXTREMELY VAGUE, you either jump in with Faith and succeed or fail, or, you hold back with Fear and never accomplish anything. I tried both. However the first option seems to be the most promising. Because even if you jump in and fail, yes you will be somewhat 'humiliated' but after a while, when you know about when the shit will hit the fan, you start to notice the patterns around you and cause for it to not happen the second attempt.
In the short period of time with my Encik, I have learnt many things from his arrival. Many things I looked up to him, his Child like Faith in our company despite the odds, his charismatic way of addressing to the recruits and to us, and also his policy on being HUMBLE and to show RESPECT to others even if they are our enemies and they harmed us, just FORGIVE them and prove to them that you are the best. That is called healthy pride. Guess where that was taken from? The Bible my friends. In army we always lack these things I specifically caps. In fact in life itself, we are lacking these and thats why there are many backstabbings. I've seen how my Encik, new as he is, accept punishment from his superior and if anybody of his same level of appointment or anyone for that matter, do him injustice or random scolding, he will ask nicely what is the problem, settle it as quickly as possible, and after that ask the person if the job was satisfactory and if it is all done. Once he acknowledges, my encik will tell him nicely, "See I got it for you all done, talk to me nicely next time ok?" in a very nice tone and walked off.
Meeting my encik in 2010 for me was the turning point to my 2 years liability of my NS life. I was more cheerful, less agitated and more clear on my job scope. I thank all my fellow sergeants and recruits for creating a fun experience for me in BMTC. Despite the fact that we are a new school and are pioneering a lot of things, we went through weird problems that I felt we should not be going through. But the experience I gain is so invaluble and I will always keep it in my mind and heart.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Way to Animation! (Sketching tryouts at Lasalle)
Drawing, my friend, is the creative side of the 3D animation industry of the world today. That is what I have been 'investing' my money and time in recently.
Once again, I've caught on the bug of animation from watching inspiring visual effects and movement from the very famous Final Fantasy and from a game known as Bioshock! The way story tells from these games are sbsolutely spell-binding along with the gameplay factor. It adds up to the storyline of things. First Person mode.
Anyway I hope to note down my time in going through this Professional Development Course aka Drawing With The Right Brain course that I picked up at Lasalle School of the Arts in Singapore.
Its a 2 month course and it starts immediately introducing different art forms and techniques as the week progresses. And yes, its once a week in the night, suited for those who really need to work in the day and ,out of interest, come to this course at night.
So far its been 3 weeks into the course and I must say, it has opened my eyes a little more to the Artist World. Of course when they say drawing class is just like primary school, draw draw draw, then splash the paint, TADAH!!! ART! Its not that simple, bub.
Sketching has never been so HARD! Also, i realise that maybe ABSTRACT art was not my cup of tea. I mean, I can be abstract, just not as abstract as some other people in my class. They can really define patterns and draw twice as good as me. Talented people, Talented Competition... I like.
2nd Week we were introduced to tools that could help our sketching using a 'viewfinder' we 'capture' on this plastic telc and then we draw according to the dimensions as closely as possible. At first it was just our hands, then when you add an object to the hands, it becomes generally even more difficult. There are shadings to be done and to tone the shading for the shadows are a little harder.
What about Blind Contours? Wow, I think I practically fail that category. We need to draw an object WITHOUT looking at the paper and just Blindly draw the lines thus the magic name, Blind Contours. Its crazy I tell you. But it was wonderously crazy. The feeling of exhilaration by just trying to draw the object, marvelous and sometimes a little disheartened. But no matter it was just my second week.
Third week. FIGURE DRAWING! Now THAT is interesting.
We had two models coming in to pose NUDE for us. Now that's a FIRST FOR ME! A guy and girl model, appearing nude and we had to draw! Using the techniques I've learned, negative spaces, contours, view finders, we were very much ENGROSS in trying to draw the figure out that we do not notice their nakedness as much as on our paper. Here I see loads of professionalism from the students, other then the occasional outburst of laughter due to silly drawings that did not turn out the way we wanted it to be. That just made it fun.
Then we did Portrait drawing. We had to draw faces and heres where I really get to working. I drew the face of the model and when the teacher came by to see my finished work she was actually impressed. Her names Susan by the way.
Susan: "Wow, I've got to show this" (Shows to some of the students near me)
Susan: "Is this your first time doing a portrait?"
Me: "Yes it is."
Susan: "Wow, its not bad for a beginner, I must say that your portrait is quite good actually."
Me: *smile* (actually I'm just absolutely thrilled to hear from her)
It was like her first praise to me. Because most of the time she just comes to me and give constructive critisisms like my portion was way off.
But during the whole figure drawing she gave me two praises and only one constructive criticism. It was a week to be remembered. My first ever, Sketching of the human being in the NUDE and both sexes too. It was eye-opening and surprisingly, I really thought that if you see a girl nude, I would have other thoughts otherwise, but strangely enough, I didn't feel anything.
It's like what our Teacher said, we just see them as objects and ultimately we may even forget that our Models are actually ALIVE and need to move and drink and do all sorts of things human if they were to sit there for so long.
I hoep to update the next few weeks so that I can keep track of my progress and journey to entering the Animation industry. =)
Once again, I've caught on the bug of animation from watching inspiring visual effects and movement from the very famous Final Fantasy and from a game known as Bioshock! The way story tells from these games are sbsolutely spell-binding along with the gameplay factor. It adds up to the storyline of things. First Person mode.
Anyway I hope to note down my time in going through this Professional Development Course aka Drawing With The Right Brain course that I picked up at Lasalle School of the Arts in Singapore.
Its a 2 month course and it starts immediately introducing different art forms and techniques as the week progresses. And yes, its once a week in the night, suited for those who really need to work in the day and ,out of interest, come to this course at night.
So far its been 3 weeks into the course and I must say, it has opened my eyes a little more to the Artist World. Of course when they say drawing class is just like primary school, draw draw draw, then splash the paint, TADAH!!! ART! Its not that simple, bub.
Sketching has never been so HARD! Also, i realise that maybe ABSTRACT art was not my cup of tea. I mean, I can be abstract, just not as abstract as some other people in my class. They can really define patterns and draw twice as good as me. Talented people, Talented Competition... I like.
2nd Week we were introduced to tools that could help our sketching using a 'viewfinder' we 'capture' on this plastic telc and then we draw according to the dimensions as closely as possible. At first it was just our hands, then when you add an object to the hands, it becomes generally even more difficult. There are shadings to be done and to tone the shading for the shadows are a little harder.
What about Blind Contours? Wow, I think I practically fail that category. We need to draw an object WITHOUT looking at the paper and just Blindly draw the lines thus the magic name, Blind Contours. Its crazy I tell you. But it was wonderously crazy. The feeling of exhilaration by just trying to draw the object, marvelous and sometimes a little disheartened. But no matter it was just my second week.
Third week. FIGURE DRAWING! Now THAT is interesting.
We had two models coming in to pose NUDE for us. Now that's a FIRST FOR ME! A guy and girl model, appearing nude and we had to draw! Using the techniques I've learned, negative spaces, contours, view finders, we were very much ENGROSS in trying to draw the figure out that we do not notice their nakedness as much as on our paper. Here I see loads of professionalism from the students, other then the occasional outburst of laughter due to silly drawings that did not turn out the way we wanted it to be. That just made it fun.
Then we did Portrait drawing. We had to draw faces and heres where I really get to working. I drew the face of the model and when the teacher came by to see my finished work she was actually impressed. Her names Susan by the way.
Susan: "Wow, I've got to show this" (Shows to some of the students near me)
Susan: "Is this your first time doing a portrait?"
Me: "Yes it is."
Susan: "Wow, its not bad for a beginner, I must say that your portrait is quite good actually."
Me: *smile* (actually I'm just absolutely thrilled to hear from her)
It was like her first praise to me. Because most of the time she just comes to me and give constructive critisisms like my portion was way off.
But during the whole figure drawing she gave me two praises and only one constructive criticism. It was a week to be remembered. My first ever, Sketching of the human being in the NUDE and both sexes too. It was eye-opening and surprisingly, I really thought that if you see a girl nude, I would have other thoughts otherwise, but strangely enough, I didn't feel anything.
It's like what our Teacher said, we just see them as objects and ultimately we may even forget that our Models are actually ALIVE and need to move and drink and do all sorts of things human if they were to sit there for so long.
I hoep to update the next few weeks so that I can keep track of my progress and journey to entering the Animation industry. =)
Friday, October 01, 2010
End of 03/10 Batch of Viper Recruits: Reflection
I can finally say that its OVER!!! Finally!
Its been a hectic 2 months of shit thrown at us. We had lost muzzle, lost magazine, again. And we had Scorpion. The most freaking idiotic Warrant officer company who just can't seem to shut up about us screwing up certain things but in the end they also pulled some stuns that displeases the whole cluster. Like allowing their recruits to go in ADMIN ATTIRE to cookhouse for lunch, why? Coz they will have physical activity the next period. WTFreaking HELL!
Then my company? We all abide to the BMTC rule book, but Scorpion is allowed to flaunt the rules??? What is this? Then because of our Coy's certain discipline issues, now this morning another Warrant Officer from the cursed coy came over to claim domination over our coy. It was partly our mistake, but from what I see, I know that they have been aiming us pretty hard. Its not like my officers during duty even noticed and mention about S coy before.
Like CSM said... Stay humble.
Its been a hectic 2 months of shit thrown at us. We had lost muzzle, lost magazine, again. And we had Scorpion. The most freaking idiotic Warrant officer company who just can't seem to shut up about us screwing up certain things but in the end they also pulled some stuns that displeases the whole cluster. Like allowing their recruits to go in ADMIN ATTIRE to cookhouse for lunch, why? Coz they will have physical activity the next period. WTFreaking HELL!
Then my company? We all abide to the BMTC rule book, but Scorpion is allowed to flaunt the rules??? What is this? Then because of our Coy's certain discipline issues, now this morning another Warrant Officer from the cursed coy came over to claim domination over our coy. It was partly our mistake, but from what I see, I know that they have been aiming us pretty hard. Its not like my officers during duty even noticed and mention about S coy before.
Like CSM said... Stay humble.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Hopelessly... Merciful...
Personally, I do not understand why is it I think the way I think? Get it?
Rephrase, I do not understand how was it that I derive the conclusion to my own thoughts on certain situations. Example would be, I will always think that my section commanders are not listening to my orders due to the fact that I was once a 3SG and also when I was a new PS.
My appointment was in the end neglected and thought of as RUBBISH from my fellow peers as they go ahead with things that I know will not work out. Therefore I just stop talking altogether. Now that was my REACTION to my Thoughts.
I can't help but feel that for the past few months I was in VIPER. I don't really feel like a family. More like a forced Family Union that currently, some of my cousins and younger generations are showing. Even on Facebook. Nevertheless, I will still put on a good show. Do what I can for my platoon and irregardless of what other platoons say about my platoon. I know I have did my best.
Its just that sometimes, those few PSes that love to shoot my platoon. I understand that my platoon is the way it is. Then so be it. Why the hell you interfere? I finally understand why Ridzwan told me to FUCK OFF whenever I try to run his platoon. Its a nagging feeling in me that nearly exploded. But everytime I suppress it.
There were times I really wanted to just shout at my fellow sergeants to stay out of it. You want to talk to them? Can. But you want to talk down my platoon then be ready. That was my initial thoughts at first. Until I told myself that they are my commanders and I cannot "control" them like Recruits.
This applies the sameway to my fellow Sec Comds. So much for being a PS. No one really listens. Ask them to do things they will consider two to three things before they start doing. And they did it TO ME ONLY! Their OWN PS!!! FUCK YOU BASTARDS!
So far the new spec has proven humble and irritable due to the fact of his way of lying to us about certain issues. But nevertheless he's ok. I'm talking about those that entered my platoon since the previous batch of PTP. They think that just because they went through a PTP phase they know their stuff. They are seriously wrong. Instead, they find new ways to smoke out and from all people, ME! Their PS.
Then All you section commanders just FUCK OFF LA! What for I need you guys who will not listen to me? Although yes you did your JOB. But there are more things then your Job scope.
One of them said to me and I will always remember. "You think you got do this before? You don't know how tough it is!" That time that sec comd was doing a demonstration for Fire Movement. I only pointed out some mistakes to let him know. He took it the wrong way.
Maybe it was the way I phrase my words. I should have complimented him first. The next thing was to discretely tell him his mistakes.
Still, he told me off that day. And I was freaking piss. He did not know that I went through the same shit as him, just that it was more shiong. I did it with my fellow batch, and we did it, nicely. Double J, former OC Viper, took us one side and applaude us in our very UP demonstration.
He still is my Sec Comd, and is still getting on my nerves. I can't help but to always want to put him in a difficult situation as a retaliation for his mistake. In the end, my moral values got the better of me.
I'm sick and tired of being nice, of being merciful, but in the end... I can't. I just can't.
Rephrase, I do not understand how was it that I derive the conclusion to my own thoughts on certain situations. Example would be, I will always think that my section commanders are not listening to my orders due to the fact that I was once a 3SG and also when I was a new PS.
My appointment was in the end neglected and thought of as RUBBISH from my fellow peers as they go ahead with things that I know will not work out. Therefore I just stop talking altogether. Now that was my REACTION to my Thoughts.
I can't help but feel that for the past few months I was in VIPER. I don't really feel like a family. More like a forced Family Union that currently, some of my cousins and younger generations are showing. Even on Facebook. Nevertheless, I will still put on a good show. Do what I can for my platoon and irregardless of what other platoons say about my platoon. I know I have did my best.
Its just that sometimes, those few PSes that love to shoot my platoon. I understand that my platoon is the way it is. Then so be it. Why the hell you interfere? I finally understand why Ridzwan told me to FUCK OFF whenever I try to run his platoon. Its a nagging feeling in me that nearly exploded. But everytime I suppress it.
There were times I really wanted to just shout at my fellow sergeants to stay out of it. You want to talk to them? Can. But you want to talk down my platoon then be ready. That was my initial thoughts at first. Until I told myself that they are my commanders and I cannot "control" them like Recruits.
This applies the sameway to my fellow Sec Comds. So much for being a PS. No one really listens. Ask them to do things they will consider two to three things before they start doing. And they did it TO ME ONLY! Their OWN PS!!! FUCK YOU BASTARDS!
So far the new spec has proven humble and irritable due to the fact of his way of lying to us about certain issues. But nevertheless he's ok. I'm talking about those that entered my platoon since the previous batch of PTP. They think that just because they went through a PTP phase they know their stuff. They are seriously wrong. Instead, they find new ways to smoke out and from all people, ME! Their PS.
Then All you section commanders just FUCK OFF LA! What for I need you guys who will not listen to me? Although yes you did your JOB. But there are more things then your Job scope.
One of them said to me and I will always remember. "You think you got do this before? You don't know how tough it is!" That time that sec comd was doing a demonstration for Fire Movement. I only pointed out some mistakes to let him know. He took it the wrong way.
Maybe it was the way I phrase my words. I should have complimented him first. The next thing was to discretely tell him his mistakes.
Still, he told me off that day. And I was freaking piss. He did not know that I went through the same shit as him, just that it was more shiong. I did it with my fellow batch, and we did it, nicely. Double J, former OC Viper, took us one side and applaude us in our very UP demonstration.
He still is my Sec Comd, and is still getting on my nerves. I can't help but to always want to put him in a difficult situation as a retaliation for his mistake. In the end, my moral values got the better of me.
I'm sick and tired of being nice, of being merciful, but in the end... I can't. I just can't.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Failure and its Beautiful Nature...
Many of us who went through Failure, especially Singaporeans, have seen it as a form of Taboo. It strikes in every heart of the Asian community in Singapore, that is why our education is our number one priority, our goals for an ONWARD SINGAPORE and our busy lives, contributes to the Taboo of Failure.
Now lets say you failed. Your brain registers a thought that "You are a Failure." Then when the environment somewhat confirms your Perspective, in the end it takes form within your Sub-concious. Which ultimately defines the way you think in future. Its a little psycological, yet I have seen men in the army who are just like that. They didn't know it. Explaining it to them does not help it. The only way we can help this form of people is to guide them all the way till the end.
Its not easy, and simple. Patience is required and alot of understanding is needed. Less condemnation and more love to be given to this bunch of individual. But army being army. Results Orientated, less humane in its doctrines see this form of treatments relatively as "sissy" and "the person is too feminine" despite him being a guy. This are low stereotypical levels. The rest will think he "faked" the injury. But what can we say?
We are not psychics who can read people's mind like super heroes. We can only do what we do best as humans. Show concern and love, to cover-up but not to spoil. To unleash wrath on the wrong doings but to stay lovingly towards the human.
Now lets say you failed. Your brain registers a thought that "You are a Failure." Then when the environment somewhat confirms your Perspective, in the end it takes form within your Sub-concious. Which ultimately defines the way you think in future. Its a little psycological, yet I have seen men in the army who are just like that. They didn't know it. Explaining it to them does not help it. The only way we can help this form of people is to guide them all the way till the end.
Its not easy, and simple. Patience is required and alot of understanding is needed. Less condemnation and more love to be given to this bunch of individual. But army being army. Results Orientated, less humane in its doctrines see this form of treatments relatively as "sissy" and "the person is too feminine" despite him being a guy. This are low stereotypical levels. The rest will think he "faked" the injury. But what can we say?
We are not psychics who can read people's mind like super heroes. We can only do what we do best as humans. Show concern and love, to cover-up but not to spoil. To unleash wrath on the wrong doings but to stay lovingly towards the human.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Perspective Thinking and its Conseqences...
I generally have to say that I thank God for Perspective Thinking. He has caused my eyes to really open wide to what is going on around me as well as to see things in different views so that I do not let my anger get the better of me like every batch.
Although I see things in a different light, but my perspective views cannot be accepted by the people around me. I can talk to them, but they immediately brush it off as talking cock. After having a Perspective, now all I really need is the art of Persuasion.
Persuasiveness I have always thought I am one of those few. But after coming to army, I realised I have a long long way to go. The people here are vicious, and will climb over your head. I am just a nice guy to my sergeants, but that does not mean you can sukale do everything the way you wanted it to be. Having said that, I have been avoiding arrows too but not all the important ones. I guess I just could not understand why they take leave at times which are a little inappropriate. Tanking sessions will be underway.
Although I see things in a different light, but my perspective views cannot be accepted by the people around me. I can talk to them, but they immediately brush it off as talking cock. After having a Perspective, now all I really need is the art of Persuasion.
Persuasiveness I have always thought I am one of those few. But after coming to army, I realised I have a long long way to go. The people here are vicious, and will climb over your head. I am just a nice guy to my sergeants, but that does not mean you can sukale do everything the way you wanted it to be. Having said that, I have been avoiding arrows too but not all the important ones. I guess I just could not understand why they take leave at times which are a little inappropriate. Tanking sessions will be underway.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Today... IS MY BIRTHDAY! IN CAMP! Doing company duty Sergeant and even helping out with my platoon admin matters.
I can't believe how happy I was today. When I saw the 32 notifications from my friends, I can see that these are the people that I have influenced and have play a part in their lives to even remember my birthday. Its a good thing we have FACEBOOK. Because if you even forgot someone's birthday, it will still remind you and thus you are able to greet them on time.
I really thank my parents, especially my mom for being the first to message me, followed by friends and relatives on facebook. To my last batch of recruits I can tell who are the ones who wanna press into my life and I feel appreciated that I can talk to them.
I can't believe how happy I was today. When I saw the 32 notifications from my friends, I can see that these are the people that I have influenced and have play a part in their lives to even remember my birthday. Its a good thing we have FACEBOOK. Because if you even forgot someone's birthday, it will still remind you and thus you are able to greet them on time.
I really thank my parents, especially my mom for being the first to message me, followed by friends and relatives on facebook. To my last batch of recruits I can tell who are the ones who wanna press into my life and I feel appreciated that I can talk to them.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Pre-Enlistment Viper Coy 03/10
I will be starting my own reflection here. I believe sharing it here I can give my Spiritual Reflection here more then the NS one. After all, its better to do personal reflection here, with the holy spirit as its content, rather then post it in the NS portal.
However, I will still put in some of my values on the LEARNET blog so that I can see if what I typed here is somehow similar and in line with my Christian Values to the SAF Core Values that I display to my fellow recruits-to-be.
Starting off, I did not really prepare myself much for this upcoming batch, again. I have to be on my toes and stay sharper then normal and to keep my healthy living up once again. I can't sleep at 11pm any longer unless I have to prowl then its another matter. I wish to lead by example because that was how I told myself to be. But when it comes to the physical side. I hope that I can stay in shape in terms of running and pull ups to hit 10.
The upcoming batch is enhanced, meaning that it consists of more IPPT Passes and I really really pray that my section won't have any problems except for fighting towards SILVER and GOLD which is a GOOD problem that I am willing to shoulder the burden.
I need to be more concise on my administrative duties and stay focus on what is to come for each lesson. In other words, I have to stay 'up' there.
I would like to end off this blog with prayers so that I can keep track of my own spirituality.
Father I thank you for today. For all the preparation work that is done, for the introducing of my new PC and CSM all on the same day. I hope that I can work with them, improve my own attitude and pride so that I can talk more with others. I thank you for the specs that I can talk to and pray that we can form a good working relationship and also to be an example to them. I thank you for my section commanders in platoon 1 that they are all very dedicated people in one way or the other. I pray especially for BENNY tthat he can grasp the culture of VIPER and not to slack too much but to perform his duties properly and help out whenever he can and not just sit around passively. I thank you Lord, for a 'up' CSM and OC, and that I understand that Leaders are placed by you so that we can learn things from the higher ups as well as to give us a showcase as to how I can learn qualities from them that prepares me for the Destiny that you have aimed to prepare me for. I pray that every 'opportunity' is significant and do task in a humble and meek tone. Teach me God to stay focus on important task and to be AWARE about my surroundings.
Lord, I ask for WISDOM to GO THROUGH THE TRAIL, which was taught last service from Pastor Tan. I would like to experience a Faith-titude that our Pastor has put forward, that we can experience your Wisdom to Advance and OVERCOME any trial by going through it. I thank you Lord, that you are a passionate and merciful savior. That one day if I should complaint, I hope Lord that you will forgive me, and help me see that you are a passionate and merciful savior, the same savior that saved us from Sin can save us from any trial. I thank you Lord in the name of Jesus.
Amen.
However, I will still put in some of my values on the LEARNET blog so that I can see if what I typed here is somehow similar and in line with my Christian Values to the SAF Core Values that I display to my fellow recruits-to-be.
Starting off, I did not really prepare myself much for this upcoming batch, again. I have to be on my toes and stay sharper then normal and to keep my healthy living up once again. I can't sleep at 11pm any longer unless I have to prowl then its another matter. I wish to lead by example because that was how I told myself to be. But when it comes to the physical side. I hope that I can stay in shape in terms of running and pull ups to hit 10.
The upcoming batch is enhanced, meaning that it consists of more IPPT Passes and I really really pray that my section won't have any problems except for fighting towards SILVER and GOLD which is a GOOD problem that I am willing to shoulder the burden.
I need to be more concise on my administrative duties and stay focus on what is to come for each lesson. In other words, I have to stay 'up' there.
I would like to end off this blog with prayers so that I can keep track of my own spirituality.
Father I thank you for today. For all the preparation work that is done, for the introducing of my new PC and CSM all on the same day. I hope that I can work with them, improve my own attitude and pride so that I can talk more with others. I thank you for the specs that I can talk to and pray that we can form a good working relationship and also to be an example to them. I thank you for my section commanders in platoon 1 that they are all very dedicated people in one way or the other. I pray especially for BENNY tthat he can grasp the culture of VIPER and not to slack too much but to perform his duties properly and help out whenever he can and not just sit around passively. I thank you Lord, for a 'up' CSM and OC, and that I understand that Leaders are placed by you so that we can learn things from the higher ups as well as to give us a showcase as to how I can learn qualities from them that prepares me for the Destiny that you have aimed to prepare me for. I pray that every 'opportunity' is significant and do task in a humble and meek tone. Teach me God to stay focus on important task and to be AWARE about my surroundings.
Lord, I ask for WISDOM to GO THROUGH THE TRAIL, which was taught last service from Pastor Tan. I would like to experience a Faith-titude that our Pastor has put forward, that we can experience your Wisdom to Advance and OVERCOME any trial by going through it. I thank you Lord, that you are a passionate and merciful savior. That one day if I should complaint, I hope Lord that you will forgive me, and help me see that you are a passionate and merciful savior, the same savior that saved us from Sin can save us from any trial. I thank you Lord in the name of Jesus.
Amen.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I just want to thank all those that have helped me in some way or another:
Enling - For being there for me whether through blogging or even buying for me tai yang ping for me =D
David - For being available all the time to book seats and talk to me about animation related topics. Love you bro.
Guang Jin - For being a brother that shares computer knowledge, gaming interest and to laugh at all my lame jokes. They mean alot to me.
Junjie - For accepting me back to N119, although it has changed alot, but I know that its a place where I need to re-establish my love for God once again.
Eddy - Thanks for all the game and movie updates! Stop watching Streaming shows... Poor quality la!
Miao Hua, Ester - For giving me a job that actually is a pre-cursor to what I am experiencing in army, just that its even worse here. And to be there during Strikeforce, encouraging me sometimes, talking to me with lame stuff and UNCOMPLETED stories. LOL! Blur sia you. Also to be a friend that talks literally about anything under the sun.
Michelle - My big sister and also lamness-in-crime. Thank you for being the cheerful person you are and talking about funny topics and even being "aunty" about shopping stuffs. Haha, they were always entertaining and it really brightens my day.
Bing Xun and Weiloong, Brothers of Thunder - The two of you always always put a smile on my face. Thanks for sharing the jamming sessions we had, guitar playing bros!
Cheryl Hiew - For being my spiritual mom and also to give me a chance to shine in the area of serving for the cell group in praise and worship. I learnt the most under your leadership and although I left the cell group on actually a wimp, you still allowed me to. And I am somehow grateful but also sad that I had to leave due to my own selfish desires.
Weiling - For being blur and talkative, I thank you for your lively nature that brings all kinds of laughter although most are directed at you. haha.
Shuncheng - For being a bro in my times of NS troubles. I can't imagine how I would feel without you present in cell group.
Huizhen - Thank you for being the big big sister. Although you have endured your own hardships. but you never fail to amaze me with your perserverance and how you pursue God. Its inspiring.
Sylvia and Jasmine - For joining together in our Asia Conference gathering! What fun times we had.
Jun Kang and the Glutton gang - Thank you for taking care of me during my time in your cell group. All the funny lame things we had was really memorable.
Josephine - Although you are not from CHC, but you are a key element in keeping my spirits up during army. Although we haven't met for a VERY VERY long time, but indeed you brighten my day at key points in my life.
These are the people I would like to thank in my circle of Christian Friends.
Enling - For being there for me whether through blogging or even buying for me tai yang ping for me =D
David - For being available all the time to book seats and talk to me about animation related topics. Love you bro.
Guang Jin - For being a brother that shares computer knowledge, gaming interest and to laugh at all my lame jokes. They mean alot to me.
Junjie - For accepting me back to N119, although it has changed alot, but I know that its a place where I need to re-establish my love for God once again.
Eddy - Thanks for all the game and movie updates! Stop watching Streaming shows... Poor quality la!
Miao Hua, Ester - For giving me a job that actually is a pre-cursor to what I am experiencing in army, just that its even worse here. And to be there during Strikeforce, encouraging me sometimes, talking to me with lame stuff and UNCOMPLETED stories. LOL! Blur sia you. Also to be a friend that talks literally about anything under the sun.
Michelle - My big sister and also lamness-in-crime. Thank you for being the cheerful person you are and talking about funny topics and even being "aunty" about shopping stuffs. Haha, they were always entertaining and it really brightens my day.
Bing Xun and Weiloong, Brothers of Thunder - The two of you always always put a smile on my face. Thanks for sharing the jamming sessions we had, guitar playing bros!
Cheryl Hiew - For being my spiritual mom and also to give me a chance to shine in the area of serving for the cell group in praise and worship. I learnt the most under your leadership and although I left the cell group on actually a wimp, you still allowed me to. And I am somehow grateful but also sad that I had to leave due to my own selfish desires.
Weiling - For being blur and talkative, I thank you for your lively nature that brings all kinds of laughter although most are directed at you. haha.
Shuncheng - For being a bro in my times of NS troubles. I can't imagine how I would feel without you present in cell group.
Huizhen - Thank you for being the big big sister. Although you have endured your own hardships. but you never fail to amaze me with your perserverance and how you pursue God. Its inspiring.
Sylvia and Jasmine - For joining together in our Asia Conference gathering! What fun times we had.
Jun Kang and the Glutton gang - Thank you for taking care of me during my time in your cell group. All the funny lame things we had was really memorable.
Josephine - Although you are not from CHC, but you are a key element in keeping my spirits up during army. Although we haven't met for a VERY VERY long time, but indeed you brighten my day at key points in my life.
These are the people I would like to thank in my circle of Christian Friends.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Stating the obvious...
I can't say right now my personality is somewhat introverted. And I realise I have been talking more about myself, my well being than for others. Where was the once loving Clement that thought about everyone around him? Can't be bothered I suppose. Due to the change in work environment? The People associated? I guess all these are just factors that support the personaility of a person.
Sometimes I hate this side of me. But yet I constantly kept on doing the things that I want to change. I know I am human, and I know that God is with me. But knowing is one thing. Experiencing? Now that takes courage and faith. I can't help but wonder how is it the christians in Army are strong enough to lose the temptation, because I realized that I am failing in this sector. Everytime I felt the holy spirit its only in the church atmosphere and sometimes in cell group. Then that's where I can't really declare myself a christian if I can't have God with me 24/7. To have God's Presence literally with me wherever I go, I could come out with solutions that I have never thought before, strength found in the most unlikely situations and will lead with a heart of servitude. But army teaches the exact opposite. Instead of resisting it, I've conformed to it.
That is a dangerous thing to occur for a christian, whether are they new or old. I pray, regardless of my situation currently, that my fellow christians in camp will be able to lead a godly life. I on the underhand have to start following my Father's footsteps. And to learn it the hard way...
Sometimes I hate this side of me. But yet I constantly kept on doing the things that I want to change. I know I am human, and I know that God is with me. But knowing is one thing. Experiencing? Now that takes courage and faith. I can't help but wonder how is it the christians in Army are strong enough to lose the temptation, because I realized that I am failing in this sector. Everytime I felt the holy spirit its only in the church atmosphere and sometimes in cell group. Then that's where I can't really declare myself a christian if I can't have God with me 24/7. To have God's Presence literally with me wherever I go, I could come out with solutions that I have never thought before, strength found in the most unlikely situations and will lead with a heart of servitude. But army teaches the exact opposite. Instead of resisting it, I've conformed to it.
That is a dangerous thing to occur for a christian, whether are they new or old. I pray, regardless of my situation currently, that my fellow christians in camp will be able to lead a godly life. I on the underhand have to start following my Father's footsteps. And to learn it the hard way...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Plans, Concerns for the future...
I've always questioned myself on the fact that I am stagnated. Probably, considering the circumstances I am in, I do feel the frustration that I can't really do much in army. I mean, my concerns are now on the Platoon and their needs as well as the Company establishment, after all I am a Platoon Sergeant.
That is why I admire people who can balance their lives to pray and seek God even in the midst of their business. Although people keep telling me to pray on the island, but I do not have any partners in particular to pray with. I feel very alienated and a little down for the fact that in my company I am the only Christian left. I can't help but feel that I am in a Daniel situation. Yet, I do not display much of his qualities. I realised my judgemental attitude has gotten stronger and more irritable then before. I wonder why I do that. Why do I feel irritated about certain attitudes that commanders express. I know that they are only human. But so am I. Your time is over, but that to me is an excuse for being Lazy... To me. I too am guilty for such stuff. I did say that my time is over too, but I knew I was just being lazy. I have to buck up on this area.
Recently I have been debating myself whether I should go to FZD School of Design or 3Dsense Media School. FZD focuses on design and concept whereas, 3Dsense is the package for a digital artist in the field of animation and special effects. I can't decide yet as there are too many factors to consider, one of them being my faith to draw. I know I am not an artist, but I love to be involved in concepts and designing. But ever since I stepped into army, there was just too many routine cycles that presses down on my creativity and now I haven't been thinking of much ideas. I have to start to stir myself up and to move on in life after army.
My alternative could be business or psychology. I don't understand why is it I do not have any drive at all to study like Kean Mun is but I know that if I do not do something now, I will suffer my own consequence for being complacent, lazy and just being unproductive. I hate for the fact that I have this lazy side of me and fear that pulls me back on my destiny for christ, whatever my destination is...
I tried praying about it, visualizing myself in the field of animation and movie making, but I do not sense Him much since I entered in this literally God-Forsaken place. Many people forsake their religion and even relationship with their God when they enter this place. I realized that my faith was not even as much as a mustart seed because of the routine atmosphere and security I was given. Somehow I knew that SOT may be one of the ways to get me back on my feet. And I remembered clearly, that God wanted me to go to SOT. Although I am somewhat fearful, but I've already planned it in my schedule itself. I hope to obey this calling to God. As for my weird dream of the future for my family, I hope that it will come to pass base on the choices we make on this Earth we live in.
That is why I admire people who can balance their lives to pray and seek God even in the midst of their business. Although people keep telling me to pray on the island, but I do not have any partners in particular to pray with. I feel very alienated and a little down for the fact that in my company I am the only Christian left. I can't help but feel that I am in a Daniel situation. Yet, I do not display much of his qualities. I realised my judgemental attitude has gotten stronger and more irritable then before. I wonder why I do that. Why do I feel irritated about certain attitudes that commanders express. I know that they are only human. But so am I. Your time is over, but that to me is an excuse for being Lazy... To me. I too am guilty for such stuff. I did say that my time is over too, but I knew I was just being lazy. I have to buck up on this area.
Recently I have been debating myself whether I should go to FZD School of Design or 3Dsense Media School. FZD focuses on design and concept whereas, 3Dsense is the package for a digital artist in the field of animation and special effects. I can't decide yet as there are too many factors to consider, one of them being my faith to draw. I know I am not an artist, but I love to be involved in concepts and designing. But ever since I stepped into army, there was just too many routine cycles that presses down on my creativity and now I haven't been thinking of much ideas. I have to start to stir myself up and to move on in life after army.
My alternative could be business or psychology. I don't understand why is it I do not have any drive at all to study like Kean Mun is but I know that if I do not do something now, I will suffer my own consequence for being complacent, lazy and just being unproductive. I hate for the fact that I have this lazy side of me and fear that pulls me back on my destiny for christ, whatever my destination is...
I tried praying about it, visualizing myself in the field of animation and movie making, but I do not sense Him much since I entered in this literally God-Forsaken place. Many people forsake their religion and even relationship with their God when they enter this place. I realized that my faith was not even as much as a mustart seed because of the routine atmosphere and security I was given. Somehow I knew that SOT may be one of the ways to get me back on my feet. And I remembered clearly, that God wanted me to go to SOT. Although I am somewhat fearful, but I've already planned it in my schedule itself. I hope to obey this calling to God. As for my weird dream of the future for my family, I hope that it will come to pass base on the choices we make on this Earth we live in.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Take all of me
Take all of me, I give you my all for more of you...
This phrase just appeared in my head as I start wondering what do I type for my upcoming post for this blog. One thing I realized over the past few weeks, that I have been relying on my own strength all this while when I am in Viper Coy. I can't exactly say that God was not part of everything, but I know that I did not lean on him. Either that, or I just lost the touch I had at Asia Conference again. Is this thing normal? Am I just not attune spiritually enough? How do I know if I am Spiritual enough to sense him?
I understand that through PRAYER is how we communicate with him. Probably that is my answer. But my circumstance is right now in the way of such "Luxury". I know that if that is the case, I need to make the sacrifice of my time. However, my job scope of being in the army, is both mentally and physically taxing. I can't really say its an EXCUSE not to pray, after all I do pray at night whenever I can. All I'm trying to say is, I don't think I sense him much whenever I'm in my camp. Its as if, I am alone although I believe that He is within me. Yet my lifestyle depicts a different approach to what I envision myself to be. I wanted to be like Christ, after all it is out goal as Christians, to use Jesus as an example of engaging the World but not compromising His love for God and for His People. I can't say that I have been like that and I do admit that I can be judgemental and have realized that I have been ever since I came into army.
I took a personality test and I had ENFP... Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. Now? INFJ. The only thing changed was the E and P changed to I and J. I have become Introverted, and Judging. Now I do not like my judgemental self as I can be a pain in the ass to some people and also detestable to others. Because I judge without thinking the time and place of event and I do not really care about Politics and shoot my mouth off. I realized that it was a big mistake and also stupid because I am demeening somebody this way... Therefore I still keep my Perceiving style because I realized that I was only 18% Judging, that means, my Perceiving is still there, the only thing was I had to Judge because of my current Job Scope as a PS.
What does all my rantings got to do with the First Line? All I'm trying to say is, I want back the time where I gave God my purpose and my life to support the cell group, to rise up again, to stand in the gap, to make friends properly, to be filled once again, to have the hunger and thirst for the word, back to bible study again, back to worship and praise, back to playing my guitar, back to the time in Emerge Conference where I gave my heart in exchange for more of him...
Take all of me, I give you my all for more of you
Move in your Power, Open the Heavens Lord Today
Take all of me, Make us your Light for all to see
Change this World we Live in
Let your Harvest in
Let Your Harvest in
Take all of me for more of you
All Consuming Fire
Take all of me for more of you
You're my Hearts Desire
This phrase just appeared in my head as I start wondering what do I type for my upcoming post for this blog. One thing I realized over the past few weeks, that I have been relying on my own strength all this while when I am in Viper Coy. I can't exactly say that God was not part of everything, but I know that I did not lean on him. Either that, or I just lost the touch I had at Asia Conference again. Is this thing normal? Am I just not attune spiritually enough? How do I know if I am Spiritual enough to sense him?
I understand that through PRAYER is how we communicate with him. Probably that is my answer. But my circumstance is right now in the way of such "Luxury". I know that if that is the case, I need to make the sacrifice of my time. However, my job scope of being in the army, is both mentally and physically taxing. I can't really say its an EXCUSE not to pray, after all I do pray at night whenever I can. All I'm trying to say is, I don't think I sense him much whenever I'm in my camp. Its as if, I am alone although I believe that He is within me. Yet my lifestyle depicts a different approach to what I envision myself to be. I wanted to be like Christ, after all it is out goal as Christians, to use Jesus as an example of engaging the World but not compromising His love for God and for His People. I can't say that I have been like that and I do admit that I can be judgemental and have realized that I have been ever since I came into army.
I took a personality test and I had ENFP... Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. Now? INFJ. The only thing changed was the E and P changed to I and J. I have become Introverted, and Judging. Now I do not like my judgemental self as I can be a pain in the ass to some people and also detestable to others. Because I judge without thinking the time and place of event and I do not really care about Politics and shoot my mouth off. I realized that it was a big mistake and also stupid because I am demeening somebody this way... Therefore I still keep my Perceiving style because I realized that I was only 18% Judging, that means, my Perceiving is still there, the only thing was I had to Judge because of my current Job Scope as a PS.
What does all my rantings got to do with the First Line? All I'm trying to say is, I want back the time where I gave God my purpose and my life to support the cell group, to rise up again, to stand in the gap, to make friends properly, to be filled once again, to have the hunger and thirst for the word, back to bible study again, back to worship and praise, back to playing my guitar, back to the time in Emerge Conference where I gave my heart in exchange for more of him...
Take all of me, I give you my all for more of you
Move in your Power, Open the Heavens Lord Today
Take all of me, Make us your Light for all to see
Change this World we Live in
Let your Harvest in
Let Your Harvest in
Take all of me for more of you
All Consuming Fire
Take all of me for more of you
You're my Hearts Desire
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Asia Conference + CGI Summary
I have just been revived by a mighty river of the holy spirit for the past 5 days of Asia Conference. Despite my tired self due to unforseen circumstances, I was able to listen to the messages of the famous speakers from the CGI board members. I am very inspired, refreshed and pumped as of Sunday night.
Once again, Dr. A.R. Bernard has exceeded my expectations. I thought he was going to bring the house down again with his very educational, insightful and inspirational messages. He didn't just bring the house down. The whole world was about to split just from his messages. They were mind-boggling and blowing at the same time, talking about the cultural mandate to a new level! The first session he gave was to give all of us a WORLD VIEW or what he liked to call, COSMOLOGY, of the relationship between the church and the world. After giving us the overview he came to reveal to us that our focus of the Biblical World View is to Restore all that is its original intent that God made it to be.
On the Second Session, he talked about the Christian World View and he gave us a boost on our role in this Cultural Mandate. We are suppose to bring restoration to the culture through God's World view. He uses the Prodigal son to explain of a christian walk during their time at cultural mandate. They tried to go along their own way until one day the world swallow him up and he was left to the pigs. That was when Pastor starts to get into his message. The prodigal son had a revelation of his Self-Concept. Before he conceptualize himself as a person who is good for nothing, dwelling in sin and thus his self-esteem was affected. However, in the pig sty, he found a new concept in himself. He had revelation on his self-concept as being the servant of his fathers house and he was willing to humble himself to go for it.
This potrayal is exactly how most of us went through. We maybe in our pig sty, right now, the circumstance is not to our favour, and we want to just give up, fall into depression and get trapped in our mind. That is exactly what the devil wants you to be in, a state of loss and low self-esteem.
But here is the good news. The prodigal son all of a sudden went into a state of new self-concept. He remembered that he was part of his father's house and although he knew he sinned, he still humbled himself and look forward to going to his father's hiouse and join his servants. The prodigal son had a new World View and where did he thought of this? Right where he was, in the pig sty!
Our self-concept is the image of God, where we are created to be in his likeness, his true nature. Whatever God hates, we hated as well. Whatever God likes we like it too. And whatever mindset God has, we can have it too. In the middle of circumstances unfavourable to you, you display a faith, a cosmology, a world view, a biblical world view, a new self-concept that you are the image of God. You can speak to your situation, face adversaries without fear but with faith. Stay humble and with a serving attitude, and to overcome obstacles in life, why? Because you are the image of God. That is the self-concept that we should have. And because we have this self-concept, it is time to narrow it down to your self-esteem. Because by knowing that you are made in the image of God, you find yourself boosting the self-esteem in you. Once you felt lousy, now its time to close in the gap of self-concept and self-esteem so that we can be a light despite the darkness, form relationships like never before, keep the faith and to have visions out of this world. To be living the cultural mandate where Christ is in our Culture.
Once again, Dr. A.R. Bernard has exceeded my expectations. I thought he was going to bring the house down again with his very educational, insightful and inspirational messages. He didn't just bring the house down. The whole world was about to split just from his messages. They were mind-boggling and blowing at the same time, talking about the cultural mandate to a new level! The first session he gave was to give all of us a WORLD VIEW or what he liked to call, COSMOLOGY, of the relationship between the church and the world. After giving us the overview he came to reveal to us that our focus of the Biblical World View is to Restore all that is its original intent that God made it to be.
On the Second Session, he talked about the Christian World View and he gave us a boost on our role in this Cultural Mandate. We are suppose to bring restoration to the culture through God's World view. He uses the Prodigal son to explain of a christian walk during their time at cultural mandate. They tried to go along their own way until one day the world swallow him up and he was left to the pigs. That was when Pastor starts to get into his message. The prodigal son had a revelation of his Self-Concept. Before he conceptualize himself as a person who is good for nothing, dwelling in sin and thus his self-esteem was affected. However, in the pig sty, he found a new concept in himself. He had revelation on his self-concept as being the servant of his fathers house and he was willing to humble himself to go for it.
This potrayal is exactly how most of us went through. We maybe in our pig sty, right now, the circumstance is not to our favour, and we want to just give up, fall into depression and get trapped in our mind. That is exactly what the devil wants you to be in, a state of loss and low self-esteem.
But here is the good news. The prodigal son all of a sudden went into a state of new self-concept. He remembered that he was part of his father's house and although he knew he sinned, he still humbled himself and look forward to going to his father's hiouse and join his servants. The prodigal son had a new World View and where did he thought of this? Right where he was, in the pig sty!
Our self-concept is the image of God, where we are created to be in his likeness, his true nature. Whatever God hates, we hated as well. Whatever God likes we like it too. And whatever mindset God has, we can have it too. In the middle of circumstances unfavourable to you, you display a faith, a cosmology, a world view, a biblical world view, a new self-concept that you are the image of God. You can speak to your situation, face adversaries without fear but with faith. Stay humble and with a serving attitude, and to overcome obstacles in life, why? Because you are the image of God. That is the self-concept that we should have. And because we have this self-concept, it is time to narrow it down to your self-esteem. Because by knowing that you are made in the image of God, you find yourself boosting the self-esteem in you. Once you felt lousy, now its time to close in the gap of self-concept and self-esteem so that we can be a light despite the darkness, form relationships like never before, keep the faith and to have visions out of this world. To be living the cultural mandate where Christ is in our Culture.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)