I can't say right now my personality is somewhat introverted. And I realise I have been talking more about myself, my well being than for others. Where was the once loving Clement that thought about everyone around him? Can't be bothered I suppose. Due to the change in work environment? The People associated? I guess all these are just factors that support the personaility of a person.
Sometimes I hate this side of me. But yet I constantly kept on doing the things that I want to change. I know I am human, and I know that God is with me. But knowing is one thing. Experiencing? Now that takes courage and faith. I can't help but wonder how is it the christians in Army are strong enough to lose the temptation, because I realized that I am failing in this sector. Everytime I felt the holy spirit its only in the church atmosphere and sometimes in cell group. Then that's where I can't really declare myself a christian if I can't have God with me 24/7. To have God's Presence literally with me wherever I go, I could come out with solutions that I have never thought before, strength found in the most unlikely situations and will lead with a heart of servitude. But army teaches the exact opposite. Instead of resisting it, I've conformed to it.
That is a dangerous thing to occur for a christian, whether are they new or old. I pray, regardless of my situation currently, that my fellow christians in camp will be able to lead a godly life. I on the underhand have to start following my Father's footsteps. And to learn it the hard way...
No comments:
Post a Comment