The long road...

The worst news always happen when you're the happiest.
Here I am, working and thinking I'll be able to get over NS and finally do the things I want to do.

That's when, my results showed up.

It was the Forth day ever since I have received my results. I could not believe it. I failed a module... Now my life is in a mess. I feel as if, one semester or half of my years are gone just like that. Appealing can only gimme a chance to pass. But if it fails, I still have to go through the whole semester again!!!

I am so lost, so helpless. Even if God is there, He could probably feel my anxiety and frustration from my own brain. I did not blame Him you know. God is always faithful, there's a reason why he opened Biotechnology for me when I put it in my choice. I learnt a bit more of Life as a scientist and how it is not for me after all. The reason why I liked science was because there was always something new in my secondary syllabus and my teacher was a good teacher.

Anyway, its going to be a long road for me. My whole life has been taking long roads. Why is that so I wonder. And the longer the road lies before me, the longer it takes to reach my destination.

Come to think of it, this long road reminds me of the dream I had when I was in Poly year 2. I had a dream of me waking up to a lot of lightning and thunder. After which I began to see myself flaoting over my house and I saw the terrain changed before me, with ground cracking and the lightning still flashed. After which there was a blinding light. That's when I found myself looking at the ceiling.

Then I got up again. I'm definately not in my house. The walls were white and the bed I lay was quite comfortable. I got out of the room and entered through the door next to the bed. There was my Dad, old, but energetic, playing his guitar to a bunch of people. As if he was leading a cell group into worship. I could not hear the music but I saw him look up and me, eyes shining with delight.

When I turned, I saw my mom, but thats all i remembered about my mom. I just saw her smiling at me, with white hair of course. Then, I saw my bro emerge from another door. He was strikingly good-looking. And he was about my age, about 18 - 20 years old. He also smiled at me. Den I saw at the other end of the living room, there was a mirror. I began to walk up to it. I wanted to look at how I looked like. That's when. I woke up, coz my mom shook me awake.

I did not even caught a glimpse of myself... well, maybe just the eyes. One eye. Brown and it seemed sparking. I remember putting on smiles when I see my father and mother so happy. Along with my Brother. I have never had such a dream that felt so real. That's cause, when I woke up, I feel so energetic, better than any other sleep I had.

Oh well, I just thought about sharing my dream I had. I haven't forgotten it. I have always wondered how would I look like. And If my bro was 20 years old there, I should be 28 years old. And with one eye that shows energy... i wonder how I looked like. I never know. But one thing's for sure, i wanted that dream to happen. To come to past. I do not know what house was that, but i wanna know whether if its deja vu when the time comes. I hope to see it happen.

Wishful thinking I know. Yet I long for it to happen. Weird huh...