BoA - I Did It For Love - Music Video

Dance dance and dance!!!

BoA(보아)_Energetic_MusicVideo

Love this video!!! Boa is so fluid in her dance! Ultimate dance guru!

D & D Madness!

I can officially say that I have a taste of how clubbing is like when I went for this D & D. The school was having an anniversary dinner for school 2. There was some emceeing and performances as well as games, but non can be compared, yes even the mask changing performance, to the girls that came up to dance on stage. They were of course in their scantily clad club wear, and they started dancing, then all of a sudden, they start grabbing people up on stage. The lucky guys were given a lap dance and even an up close dance with them.

I was one of the people that got "dragged" up. I mean, I won't resist because I felt that it was something that I need to break, this limit of having fun. So I took it up a notch, allowed myself to dance with this beautiful babe. At first I did not really know what to do. I told the lady I was not a dancer and she just told me to just move. I looked at the way she moved and I just tried to mimic, then in the end I just let it go, I just dance.

The feeling waved over me as I dance in however manner I want, I couldn't care less what people say or think at that point in time, I just want to dance with this lady. After grooving for awhile, she complimented me, that I CAN dance. That was what blew me away.

Ok, I am a sucker to such things. Words of affirmation, that comes from a hot babe and she is dancing, moving her body naturally and with sex appeal oozing from everywhere. I was thrilled, excited. It was my first time, dancing naturally on the stage, with a Hot Babe in front of me, having fun just grooving with the music. It was one of the most fun D & D's I've ever had.

I guess its time I let myself go. Its been so long since I've done so. My problem was always in the area of balancing. I can work hard but can't let go. I have to learn and practice this side of me more often...

POP for 04/09!!! My First Batch Officially Over!

Here I am sitting at home, blogging about the current events and the attitudes I have developed as I stayed in Viper Company. At first, I couldn't cope with the company, or at least I tried to keep up, and by doing so, I have neglected my sleep, my movements have become sharper and I was tested constantly because of my own weak mind.

But now I can say that it has finally turn out for the better. I can't believe my OC and CSM will be posting out after this batch. And what a big change to a company who is going to be totally refurbished in terms of management and even methods of teaching. I will be the next Platoon Sergeant definitely, and I have a very long way to go. The two anchors of the company are going to leave, it is up to all the PS, including me and Fei Peng to keep the company anchored, the Viper culture anchored and to keep on keeping on, if not, improve the Viper culture. My test will come even stronger even greater, and I have decided to step up to it.

I am proud of my section. When they first came in, I taught them what is to be a Male by Birth, and man by Choice... I taught them first on focusing on the little things in life, that will eventually lead to success. I taught them about not giving up, to think positive as much as possible, to be garang, to sing, to be a person of character. The results? I have silver and even a IPPT gold in my section. One of them even passed the SOC where in my platoon only 2 passed. Add on to that, there are three people in my section who became the top 5 of our platoon, that shows how motivated my people are and what impact I have done in their lives.

Personally, I am proud of them. I wish them all the best and I hope to influence more people with the mindset I try to set, and that is the Spirit of Excellence. I find much of this spirit is lacking in our society, so I wish to enforce it and I pray that my God will mould my platoon according to his will...

I JUST WANT YOU - Planetshakers cover

I cant believe I did not share this. This video was taken during my time when I was still training to be a sergeant. It was one of my better singing voice in this video. Although the front screwed up abit, but still its one of the better ones.

Hear our Cry - CHC Band cover (Writings on the Wall album)

Here is another song from the new album by CHC. Enjoy.

Beautiful - CHC Band Acoustic

Finally I have resumed my covers! Although I have been adjusting to my new environment, I managed to find time to play. This is Beautiful by CHC band.

December 1 and Visionary Spotlights

Its the last week before the actual POP week for the recruits. It will also be our 'lau' period by the end of the phase. Now, left with GP parade and the 24 click route march on our hands, I hope that every recruit can pass out in peace and I hope they take back whatever I have said. Male by birth, man by choice.

I know that I have been complaining over the past few weeks. But perhaps, it was all for the better. I am not really happy at all, honestly, since I've stepped into Viper. Yet, I can see myself a new purpose, a new vision for myself as I started being an instructor there. Even with certain signs shown by the OC, that made me think that I can be what he requires from me.

The OC has taken me aside to talk about me being a platoon sergeant. Even my PC has approached me about it. After speaking to OC, I realise that inevitably, I will become one, because of the certain traits he highlighted about me. He said I was responsible. To me, I don't see how responsible am I compared to other commanders around me. Then he felt that I have the calibre to become a platoon sergeant, and he said that it would be a waste if I became a Armskote spec or even a signal spec, because I had what it takes to be a PS.
"So how do you feel, Clement." He asked.

I replied him truthfully at that point in time, that I was honoured for being considered to be a PS, but I fear the extreme responsibilities that a PS must shoulder. That was word for word that I remembered. Yet there was another side of me, I am not really the kind that screws recruits because their bunk is untidy, I am the kind that screws people when their character stank, and they just would not work together. I am particular of grooming people, not torturing them for no reason. I don't F recruits, I punish, correct and observe for changes. I am not a Joshua, or a Ridzwan, neither am I as soft as Suhairi, maybe, I am a Ming Liang for some of the traits. In other words, I can only be myself. With my own values running alongside my show, if I am PS.

Focus vision is what I need to make my sense of belonging. No one else can do it for me, only I must put the effort.

Confused to the Max...

I feel pretty much empty these past few weeks.

I would be putting all my white lie face, saying that everything's ok. Everything is going well, I don't mind making the sacrifice, these are my white lies for the past 3 weeks. I don't feel belonged at all, whether in cell group, in viper coy, at home, with my relatives, even in Church. Its like a whole new void altogether being formed in my soul, and the devil is laughing from the shadows as he see me struggle with my own personality, character, breaking down in front of him. I hated it that I have let the devil win this area over me.

I can't stand it that the fact whenever I pray, someone just steps into the room and I can't lock it. Its been like this since I have been in Tekong. I tried to get to my routine of praying. But I can't. I want to do my own things, I can't. Others can have their off days and all that, they all took up the space, leaving me, with nothing. I hate to inconvenience others, but by doing so, I have just inconvenienced myself. Such is what bullying is all about. I can't make the stand to say that I want to have my off day. When I feel that I am doing something which is selfish, I just won't do it. I can tell if I'm being selfish, which I believe its definately a character refined from God. But even so, I feel that this part of me is taking away all my privilages, my offs and my rest time. I wish I knew what was right and wrong in the place that I am in.

There is freedom in commandership, but that is precisely why I can't see the right way. Talk about standardization, talk about being good commanders, talk about doing the right things yet people still do the wrong things. SO WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO FOLLOW!!!

Army Journey VIPER Coy: Whole lot Knock it Down...

As I stepped into Viper Coy in BMT, my first thought was, I should be able to live in this coy. The first reaction the moment I enter was a shout of welcome and people all start jumping and hooting.

Little did I know what it means to be the 'new' guy. The shit starts hitting me as I progress through my first ever PTP batch. There isn't really much to say about life at Viper as the OC is rather demanding. But if he doesn't demand the standard, then we might as well live life carefree and whatever we want to do. That is so, so wrong. So far being in Viper has been a positive experience. I've been doing my job well, mostly to the best of my abilities.

As I am new to the whole instructional tour, I still feel the uneasiness of not fitting in totally to the coy. I guess as time passes, I will be able to express my own thoughts soon to whatever planned activities there are in future.

Personally, I love my platoon 3. Especially finally when 2 of our High Key events were fianlly done. I pray that platoon 3 will continue to perform and stick with the attendence.

I just realized I only knock the platoon down only when certain safety or standards are compromised. But comparing to other commanders, I don't really do excess punishments, because I know that if I can't even do the punishment, why even implement it on the recruit. But hey this are just commanders woes. I hope to strive to be my own commander. Nope, I'm not going to aim for best commander, but to be a respectable commander who not only get things done, but keeps the platoon motivated and together. I can never be like my fellow sec com, Mahatir, but he is a very good sec com. If I were to learn one or two things from him it would be the way he instills motivation to the platoon.

So far, the army journey is gradually getting from high on the graph to low... as the days start counting down once I hit next year.

Maturity, a Factor of Men's Character

Maturity is something men usually lack, or fail to showcase at the appropriate times. Most of the time we just goof off and want to slack more than anything else. Anything that is fun or is pleasurable, the men are thus motivated to perform with utmost execution.

So what exactly is maturity? I was told that your Maturity is determined by the capacity of handling your responsibility. I agree totally to this sentence and from maturity we can definitely handle more task, execute the plan without hesitation, and even perform well despite the fact that you hated the task.

Of course, the rewards don't really come that easily. Not everything you do is worth a reward, but yet its necessary. In fact, if you ask me the reward for handling your responsibility is the making of character and safety in your own life as well as others. That to me is the best reward.

I have this friend, who always wants to escape from his responsibilities. He will tell me of how to get away from this problem, or that duty and won't even try to think of a solution. Even if he did think of one, he practically tried to push the blame to others. Would you deemed this maturity? Would you even deemed him trustworthy enough to perform the task in future. I think not.

I can't say that he's not the only one. Everybody is looking for a way out, a short cut to earning money, saving time and wanting to relax. Nobody will take the stressful path, or the narrow way as the bible puts it. After all, it inconveniences you, makes you vulnerable. But ultimately as you take that path, as Christians we all agree, that the destination is secured. Although you are pressed on all sides on your Journey, always remember that this narrow road you have been taking, will eventually lead you to your destiny and to the plans that God has planned for you.

But I don't want to follow the will of God! I would say sometimes, I just want my desires to be fulfilled, I don't want that narrow path, why take the narrow one when there is a wider path with better security and less risk? Just slack la! This could be the conversation of your thoughts within our brains. But that is how I can distinguish 'mature' Christians to shallow and thoughtless Christians. They are still Christians, but they can't be bothered to even rise up. Especially the men.

I have a burden for the men out there. All the Christians in army that seem to think they have fallen behind in their relationship with God through the army experience. I want to show an example, that I have made it through with not by my strength but by the Spirit of God, which He has done for me so far and I believe he will continue to shine in my life. I pray that I can influence my fellow recruits to be stronger, to be enduring, to stay in discipline, to witness that they are men and not a boy anymore. We can play, but when we are serious, we will perform.

Reflection statement

I guess its just normal for a blog post to sound so much like a diary. Updating your post means you are still alive somehow on this world and the messages placed in a blog are usually useless things about the person's life and his or her encounters. Like what time they eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, what was their day, what happened etc.

To me, blogging is somehow a reflection. Not so much of diary, but to let my self understand my own thoughts brought down to words.

Being a commander is totally different then a leader. A leader is something that ANYONE can be. A Commander however, holds the Authority. Something which I've noticed over the past 2 weeks as a sergeant. Honestly, army is a bore to most of us Singaporeans. Why? Being 'forced' to serve this 2 years of our life in the army. However, not everybody regretted the experience.

9 months of army has made my thinking different. Commander authority is not just the rank, its you. You earned the authority, you have to show the authority. Somehow, I realized my weakness in this. I can't really shout my feelings, I can write it down, I can think it, but I can't express through speaking, which could be my downfall. Also, I am a 'nice' sergeant to my rec. I have been nice already. Compared to my other fellow colleagues, I just can't be the nasty guy.

But somehow, certain things allow me to shout, like not taking care of equipment, not taking care of the little things in their bunks. To clean up the areas needed for cleaning. I've already told my section about that. I hope to be able to start giving them more motivation as they began their 3rd week in army.

Army Journey - Back to BMT: Spec-ulation...

So what is moral standards? What is integrity? By playing by the rules? Sticking to the plan? Sticking to the standards? Or just throw that all away and be wild and free? Not caring for what is to come or what your actions will lead to some consequence which may affect others?

I've struggled with this. Peer pressure is always the problem to my decisions. On this day, 09/09/09, is where I want to make a stand. Sergeant is just a rank, but with it comes Great Responsibility as well. This does not give you excuses that you will wake up late, do not account for strength, not meeting the timing, not to march even when you are on course. I really hate that! Its like specs are given more freedom then officers? For Pete's sake, spare me all their non-sense. Somehow, not many of the commanders with me here are not even SERIOUS about this. Gentlemen, recruits will be under your care. You want to 'show' me that you are screwed up, fine. But do not screw yourselves up in front of the Recruits. If not how you lead by example? Wayang? Maybe. But its better than not giving a good impression from the recruits. Maybe you can talk to them because you are not so regimental, but they most likely won't trust you.

I must say that sometimes we have to be flexible, but not to the extent you lower the standards. In fact, the only reason why I am flexible, is because I TRUST that whether you are recruit or spec, you can get it done, you can do your duties properly, then we can talk about letting you sleep more and you are able to wake up and go down in 5 minutes for accounting of strength.

For me... Its time I practiced discipline in my exercise. Will be confined this week due to PTP batch. Hope to return to Singapore soon.

Army Journey - Back to BMTC : New Reformation, New Jobs for BMT Sergeants...

Chapter 1 of this new phase is the transition from Trainee to finally a Commander.

My fellow commanders-in-training all are still naive about one thing. That the BMTC Sergeants are KING over there. Perhaps the old way was like that. Now after hearing things from the BMTC HQ higher ups and the new things being implemented, I can safely say "WOW".

Next time, we 3SGs are no longer Kings, we will be with our men literally, just like unit people. Only difference? We act as instructors too, but the other side, the section commander side of us, cannot just throw it away. New challenges arises from my batch as BMTC is undergoing major restructuring. Many problems are going to occur and I can only pray that it won't be too complicated for all of us to accomplish.

I understand that we all have to do our duties, I am worried for the fact that the amount of duties I have done are so minimal. In fact, I have only done COS duty only ONCE in my current Army life. And from BMT all the way till now, I have not done a single, Guard Duty.

Count myself lucky? Well at that time I felt that way. Now I am back to the sunny island of Tekong I feel that I lack the experience on what Guard commanders do.

But I guess the main worry is the part that we will be leading our men out there in the field. And I thought I could throw away most of my knowledge back to SISPEC. But No, we can't. If we do so we will be digging our own burial ground instead of a shellscrape.

Truly, these are exciting times, even the BMTC HQ Commander, mentioned the thing on Servanthood Leadership. Now this term is actually Biblical. That caught my attention. Perhaps I'm moving along in God's Plan and Now is the time to really shine for God. Influencing and Inspiring the recruits to become better MAN and to be strong.

Updates for August!

Its been a long 3 weeks. Where was I? I was in Taiwan for training. Although I can't really say much details but I just want to say that it was a time of trials and tribulations. A time of great testing of mental as well as an experience I can say is once in a lifetime.

It was all by the grace of God. I really couldn't survive without Him. I confide in Him when I have the chance, even if I had not done so due to the army's regimental ways, God still keeps me in good health, in shape as well as able to go through all the exercises. I participated in everything.

Even before exercise Warrior, which happened to be the finale field camp, I was struck by fear. Fear that I can't carry on due to the summer heat and we had to chiong sua in that heat. I know myself, that I tend to blame others or argue back the things that I do. In other words, I always did not admit my mistakes. I feel that the lowest pits even before Warrior even started.

Looking back, I find it very foolish of me to worry even before it started. I suppose this is one of the things that God wants me to face up to. Although I cried for fear. I realised my tears were shed in vain, because I serve a God who is BIGGER than the exercise. I can finally look at a new perspective and come out stronger then ever before.

I have only SOC to clear. Once this is completed is POP LOH!!!

Other than the updates, I would like to thank my family and friends who encouraged me during my difficult period of thinking depressing thoughts before a major exercise. I should have looked on with a positive attitude all the time.

21st Birthday Blues...

Finally I turn 21!

Many things happened on my Birthday. Though most are not pleasent... First things first, I still failed my SOC. Its been pretty tiring to keep hearing from others that I still failed this stupid and pointless test.

Then right after that, all the LSC's got a meeting from our Staff, to address on the issue of not eating breakfast in the morning for some of the people in the bunks. He even summoned to two offenders to the office room. One of them happened to be in my Section. I have wasted my breathe trying to talk through him. Up till now I still can't believe why is he still inside ASLC.. Or even to be training to become a sergent at all.

Other then that, the only good thing or at least to me, was the briefing on our upcoming Exercise in Taiwan. I can't really mention much, but the R&R is what I have been looking forward to. From the briefing I understand that the training schedule is pretty hectic. In fact, I predict that we won't have much admin rest time at all. All I know is, many measures were taken to ensure our body is to be taken care of, also that we have to shit properly at the right places. All the disciplines have to be followed or face the consequences. I can't wait for the end of the exercise!

Then today, after all the inspection was done, we can finally book out to go home. After slacking at home for awhile, I went out with my family for a little supper. When we reached home, guess what. The house was all covered in smoke. My mom immediately realized that she forgotten to turn of the stove. Wow. If we were home any later, I do not know how disastrous it would have become.

Anyway, this is my birthday. Not very grand, not much presents, not much company as well. Abit disappointed that my own parents forgotten that today was my actual birthday. I actually noticed that my birthday's are like that these few years. Either I am turning invisible, or my birthdays don't matter much anymore. Nevertheless, though all these things happen, I will praise God for bringing me to where I've been for the pass 21 years.

Too many ups and downs before I reached to where I am right now. I know I still needed to mold myself even more, I am not confident enough to lead anyone yet. Even today as I tried to take charge no one listens. I shout, I get cold feedback but at least they start to move faster. Sometimes I want to break the cycle, but its just too hard when people are just not cooperative to the purpose or this course.

Well, so much for my 21st Birthday...

Lady GaGa - Poker Face (Acoustic - Live)

You thought Lady Gaga's Song is all about computerized techno? Well check her out! Pokerface acoustic! I will always love acoustic versions!

21st Birthday Celebration!

A New Era is Born...

Indeed it has. I agreed totally to the slogan on the card I received from my cell group friends. Thanks for the shirt guys it was nice. Somehow, during this whole birthday thing, I wanted it to be different.

Most 21st Birthday are about 'Keys' to Freedom. But my cake is a guitar, which raised many questions among my family and relatives. But what is wrong with a guitar? I love that instrument. Besides, every 21st Birthday, their cakes are either keys or just plain square cakes. I like to be different than others, I don't care what people say anymore. Because the more I do so, I will start to 'please' them. So often its actually quite harmful. I got to learn when to not heed the words they say and learn to know when can I 'throw' them away.

Overall, it was a good celebration. Met my old friends and even got to see my former cell group members and hearing their laughter and the things they shared with one another... It brings back memories. I actually took a trip down memory lane today, as I see my friends, relatives and even the events that I've went through. Personally, I feel nostalgic, a little sad, happy that I am 21, but still a little hard to believe, that I am 21. I am a matured adult? Maybe, in terms of certain responsibilities brought to light. But I feel that I still have a long way to go. There are more things needed to be done, more stuff to complete and meet the dateline.

It was quite a fun time though, a pity for some of my friends who could not make it in the end. But no matter, I 'm a simple guy, I did not really do a large scale party but its all worth it. Presents lesser so what. The most important thing to me is to be able to spend quality time together. Anyway I hope to enforce that 21 years I am still alive, kicking and ready to take on the coming challenge.

Talking cock...

Booking in soon...

I wanted to blog about my feelings for the coming field camp. But its no use, all I feel is, I don't want to go, I don't want to go... Even the platoon live firing is even draining my spirit away. It's like the most depressing book-in's, like that time in BMT when we have our Chinese New Year before our field camp. That feeling is back again. The reluctance to enter back to camp.

I believe that's being human. That's my flesh. I can't help but feel reluctant and no 'fire' within me at all. I kept thinking about what might come, which began to hinder what I am about to do now. I've wondered how am I going to survive without bathing for 4 days, even 7 days of no bathing. I can only pray that I will lift up all these events to God. I shall put my trust in the lord.

Being religious? Maybe, sometimes its ok to be a little religious. I need God more than ever before. But I wish for it to be not one-sided. If God brought me to Infantry to make me feel more uncomfortable and to become stronger in my mind, then so be it. I will do my best for this trial...

Updates and Rantings....

This week is a rather slack week, after all we are in camp. Its better to be in camp then the outfield, infantry really sucks.

I have a problem if I can't pass the SOC course. If I can't, I won't be able to get my 3SG rank. Sometimes I just accepted that I won't pass out as a 3SG and hope to actually go to another vocation where I can finally learn something new. I've met my old friend from BMT today at the SOC ground. He was our medic at the end point and I was quite surprise to see him.

I talked to him and he is serving as a medic man. He told me that if I were to OOC because I cannot clear the SOC, I will post to most probably, Combat Medic. Its 8am-5pm job. I could use that sort of job. Other than that, I wish still to be able to pass in future.

ARGH! I'm just ranting.