I've felt that I have been disillusioned that everything will work out my way. I have been disappointed many times because I asked for things that people are not motivated to do.

I have a fellow spec, who told me that he does not have the motivation to even do his work anymore. Highly likely because he also knows that the army is a place where nothing really flourishes, routine and full of laws and regulations which is nonsensical to him.

Another spec of mine only cares about his ORD, sticks to his BUNK most of the time and will only communicate to the recruits in a soft and kind manner. Not saying that he can't be nice, but I'm wishing for him to be not too nice to them. But his attitude to army is to just do the bare minimal and to slack, get out of the radar and to enjoy his bunk experience during OFFICE HOURS.

Then again, out of the two specs under me, the first one at least listens to what I want and is willing to 'HELP OUT'. Whereas the other, is sometimes motivated to do and other times, if I don't tell him to do he won't do. And even if I do not tell him to do, he will do his own way and sometimes he overrides whatever instruction I gave to him.

This is probably what the problem lies. Within my specs and the management of the company. This is probably the only thing that pisses me off and got me disappointed many times. Because of such people I feel demoralised in doing the things that I need to do and I for one felt burnt out at the amount of admin work I have to do.

Then again, I have crazy expectations towards my own people, knowing Viper to be a very shiong company, I thought that the specs were up. But no. Once new management comes in, they took advantage of the situation and change their style altogether. Although Viper is still sort of shiong to the rest, to me, I felt that our substance is slowly waning and changing. Though I'm not sure if its for the better and all that but then again, we are only Specs.